How to Make a Human Being
by PitViper
Summary: The First Children: Logical, cold, dedicated, angelic. We can use so many adjectives, but can we use the term 'Human'? This is an exploration of how a small change can have a large effect. PG for the future.
1. Prologue: A Glimpse of the Final Product...

**How to Make a Human Being**  
  
--  
  
Author's Notes:   
  
I saw Dennisud's reply to my farewell poem. Thank him for this morsel, because I wouldn't have posted this here if not for his wish to have some more of my writing. Here is the prologue to "How to Make a Human Being." Hopefully in a month or two, after I've gotten my project well underway, I'll return to my writing. Writing is a seasonal thing, if it was something that always came easy, we'd all be Poet Laureates and scribes of considerable acumen. Alas, we must write when the muse is with is, and fade away when the muse is not. Right now, another project beckons me, and I must follow. Until I return...  
  
I hope you enjoy it. Review if you want to see more, review if you don't.   
  
Later,   
PitViper  
  
--  
Title: ** How to Make a Human Being**  
Genre: Short Story  
Author: PitViper (pvalpha@yahoo.com)   
Created: 08/02/02  
Rating: PG  
Synopsis: Many believe that the character of Rei Ayanami is bound in steel to  
her duty – She accepts nothing into her life that is not related to Eva or  
angels. This is the story of how a few small changes can make a big difference.   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, Gainax does. They own the Characters, the world, and the universe that Neon Genesis Evangelion exists in - I don't. Manga and ADV are distrubuting it in the US, and elsewhere most likely, so they own part of it too. The point is - I seek to make no money off of this, it is simply an exploration of the characters Gainax so generously provided. Please don't sue me.   
  
--  
**How to Make a Human Being**  
Prologue  
  
  
_A Glimpse of the Final Product: August 24th, 2030 - 5:01am._   
  
A young woman tiptoed silently from her bed. Her silence was the necessity of the moment, for she had guests in her house, some of whom were in awe of their temporary hostess. But then, the woman was as in awe of the children as they were of her.   
  
She made it to the bathroom, and quietly turned on the light above the mirror and washbasin. The antique porcelain sink was a gift from an old friend. It was one of the first gifts she had ever received, and she delicately ran her fingers over its smooth white surface. Meanwhile her mind beamed with pride at the object, 'Mine!' The thought was completely out of character for the young woman, but then what was her character? Was she not who she made herself to be? True, she had coveted the sink when she first saw it, she wanted the sink, and the friend had been kind enough to procure the sink for her.   
  
Just as the sink was hers, so was the home she now lived in. It was not ostentatious, it didn't overwhelm the senses or bespeak of excessive luxury. But for the being who called it home, the small house was all she had ever wanted in life – and she required nothing more than to call this place home.   
  
One might think that she was a material woman. But she was not. Yes, she had her favorite things. The sink, the house - a small, silver brush with thin, delicate bristles that smoothed and tamed her wild hair with each comforting stroke – these were the things she valued. All were gifts from others. Even the house was a gift, a gift from a least expected source.   
  
While the woman did not have to work – she still did. In the time that she was not dedicated to her duties, she focused on the house she had come to call a home. She maintained the house in pristine condition. She would vacuum the floors, wash the windows, and clean the kitchen. Once a friend, an individual in that precious circle of souls that surrounded her, said, "Mein Gott, you could eat off the floor!" In her usual way, the woman had responded, "I do not believe so. It would taste like Wax, turpentine, and neoprene if it sat there for very long." A chorus of laughter had erupted from the comment. It was a simple, direct statement of truth. For some reason, they always found such comments to be 'funny' coming from her.   
  
The small things hadn't changed about her. She would still go through a morning routine. She would still wake at five am, and tiptoe to her bathroom – even though her floor was no longer cold. She would still stand before the mirror, and reiterate to herself who she was. She had done it every morning for the past 23 years; she would do it yet again this morning.   
  
The woman stared into the mirror, and brushed a stray lock of hair from her eyes. 'Red eyes. Red - the color of blood. The color I hate.' The blue haired woman thought as she idly fingered a long strand of hair. 'I must get a haircut.' She reminded herself as she prepared to begin her morning ritual. "I am Rei Ayanami. I am Pilot of Unit 00. I am I." Rei Ayanami's voice never rose above a whisper, but one person, waiting right outside the room in the shadows, heard her soft tone, and remembered days far distant and different from these. Some things may change, but for Rei Ayanami, some things would never change…  
  
-  
  
_To Begin With…: September 13th, 2015 - 5:01am. _  
  
A young girl tiptoed across a dirty floor, making her way to the bathroom. She hissed slightly with every step, the icy coldness of the floor adhering to her feet as she moved through the equally frigid air. It was no surprise when she turned on the light in the bathroom – the face in the mirror was the one she expected to see.   
  
"I am Rei Ayanami. I am I." She said to herself. She didn't bother to move the stray locks of hair from before her eyes. Soon she would bathe, and then she would trim the edges of her bangs to ensure that her hair was not an obstacle while she was in Evangelion.  
  
She turned on the water to her shower. The liquid was even colder than the air and the floor. But it did not matter to the young blue-haired girl. Water was water. She would clean herself, the temperature did not matter.   
  
She stepped into the shower, a slight look of displeasure crossing her face for the briefest of moments, before her normal mask of apathy slammed down with frightening force.   
  
Yes the water was cold. But the ice in her heart was more frigid than the water. She had long since given up any hope of finding something to fill this gnawing need – she had grown accustomed to staring into this empty maw, this abyss that was her soul. She was comforted sometimes because she felt that the abyss would stare back once in a while. At least that was something.   
  
So the cold of the water was quickly forgotten. As were the many other things that might normally concern a child of her age. Instead, thoughts that concerned the Child flowed through her head - especially the thoughts that concerned the First Child.   
  
Rei remembered Commander Gendo Ikari's words from the previous day…  
  
-  
  
Gendo approached slowly as Rei stood before Eva Unit 00. Rei was just finishing her final inspection of the activation plug, and was analyzing the termination plug when the commander had approached her. She had turned upon sensing his presence, and smiled slightly.   
  
"Tomorrow there will be a synchronization test for the dummy system, Rei."   
  
The blue haired child responded with an unusually energetic: "Yes. Doctor Akagi informed me, sir." A soft smile etched itself upon her lips as she spoke with him.   
  
Gendo nodded in approval before he replied, "Be prepared, Rei. I wish to see you at Oh-Six-Thirty at the Main gate. We will eat breakfast since we will not be able to attend dinner."   
  
Rei's apparent delight increased, "Yes sir."   
  
"You are doing very well, Rei. I am proud of you." Commander Ikari had said.   
  
Joy – "Yes Sir."   
  
"You will not attend school tomorrow, Rei." Gendo said.   
  
A blink, then another, before the usual smile she accorded her guardian came to her face, "Yes Sir." She would not see Ikari-kun.   
  
"There will be an Eva synchronization test at nineteen hundred thirty tonight. That is part of the reason we shall not have dinner."   
  
Smile - She would see Ikari-kun. "Yes sir."   
  
Gendo smiled as well, "Is there anything that you'd like to speak with me about, Rei?"   
  
"No sir." Rei replied, her smile vanishing. The conversation was over.   
  
"Very well, Rei. Good night."   
  
Rei nodded once before replying, "Yes sir."  
  
-  
  
Rei dried quickly, absently dropping the spent towel upon the dirty floor. Her feet, now fully accustomed to the temperature, glided smoothly from step to step as she made her way to the dresser. She absently plucked a loose bra from the partially open drawer, and quickly placed it on. Within moments, the panties, shirt, skirt and the rest of her school uniform were completely adorning her frame. She finished by quickly tying the small red ribbon about her neck, and grabbed her bag.   
  
Without a second thought the First Child strode from her apartment, not even bothering to make sure that the door had shut. She made her way to the stairwell, and down the steps. As she walked, she anticipated the day's events in her mind.   
  
'First there will be breakfast with Commander Ikari. I do feel something when I am with him. He had told me that such feelings are happiness. Since one smiles when they are happy or joyous, then I smile for the commander – because he ordered me to smile when I feel these things in his presence. When he returns the smile, I feel… even more. What is this feeling?' She thought as she made her way through the derelict apartment building.   
  
'What I feel with the commander is not the same as what I felt with Ikari-kun. Ikari-kun is different. When he asked me to smile, it was as though it was something that I didn't have to do. Smiling was not an order, but a request. But it is polite to accommodate the request of an equal. And Ikari-kun is my equal. He is an Evangelion pilot. Therefore he is my coworker… No.' Rei paused for a moment as she was about to pass into the street. 'Ikari-kun is more.' She felt satisfied with that answer. She stepped into the brisk pre-dawn air, and began her walk down the broken pavement path. It was five thirty in the morning, and the insects still made their noises in the few 'green' spaces Tokyo III had to offer.   
  
'Today I will synchronize with the dummy system. That is a part of my duty. It is expected that I will achieve 100% synchronization - nothing less, nothing more. It is expected that I pilot Eva efficiently; Forty Two percent is required for effective Eva synchronization. When I have my test this evening, forty two percent shall be the synchronization ratio I have with Unit 00.' Rei's walk continued automatically as she made her way to the NERV access point.   
  
'I shall achieve my goals. I am to eat with the Commander. I am to synchronize with the dummy system. I am to synchronize with the Eva. That is my goal for today.' Rei thought, 'Nothing shall come between me and my perceived goal. I shall achieve…' Rei's foot paused five centimeters above the ground. The entire motion of her body – every thought process stopped as she froze in mid-motion. Rei blinked several times in apparent shock. Slowly she directed her vision downward to her left foot, which was hovering in mid air. She slowly moved her foot about ten centimeters to the left, revealing the reason she had paused in bringing down her foot.   
  
A black ant was struggling on the ground - its jaws firmly grappling a large leaf from a nearby oak. The ant didn't catch her attention; the large leaf moving of its own accord had made her stop. She watched as the ant made its way slowly, millimeter by millimeter towards a small pile of sand in the dirt about a meter away.   
  
Had the leaf not been there to point out the existence of the ant, then Rei would have simply stepped on it. 'But why was that significant? What possible significance could stepping on an ant have? There were billions of ants in the nearby area. And when one looked at the larger picture, there were billions upon billions in the country. The life of one ant had no effect on the continuation of the whole, did it?'   
  
Rei put her foot down, missing the ant and the leaf by millimeters as she continued her journey. The ant, not having realized the significance of its role to the future of humanity, simply continued to drag the leaf back to the mound – performing its duty as expected. Rei however, contemplated the significance of one ant for the rest of the day…  
  
--  
  
Author Notes:   
  
Well, here's the beginning of this story. I hope you are pleasantly intrigued. It will be a while before I am able to continue it, but I do have plans... and plans within plans. :D I hope you'll review this so I can see whether or not it's worthy of continuing for public posting :D  
  
Thanks to Alnilam for reading through this and pointing out my flaws. Being the far from perfect individual I am, I have a great many flaws. So my sincerest thanks to her for reading through this gibberish I call writing.  
  
Thanks,   
PitViper. (pvalpha@yahoo.com)   



	2. Chapter One : Mix in some spice…

**How to Make a Human Being – Chapter 1**  
  
--  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
Well, what to say, where to begin. Since How to Make a Human Being installments are small, maybe I'll be able to keep this going a bit while I'm working on my "project". :D Can always hope. Oh well, without further adieu, here's the first chapter.   
  
-  
  
Title : How to Make a Human Being  
Genre : Short Story  
Author : PitViper (pvalpha@yahoo.com)   
Created : 08/02/02  
Chapter1 : 08/09/02  
Synopsis : Many believe that the character of Rei Ayanami is bound in steel to  
her duty. She accepts nothing into her life that is not related to Eva or   
Angels. This is the story of how a few small changes can make a big difference.  
  
--  
**How to Make a Human Being – Chapter One : Mix in some spice… **   
  
_September 13th, 2015 - 8:01am_  
  
Small bubbles floated gently from the First Child's mouth. After all, she was completely submerged in LCL, in the tank that conveyed her thoughts and experiences to the Dummy System. Her Sync Ratio held steady at One Hundred Percent, for that was the required sync ratio to ensure that the memories were properly transferred.   
  
This activity had become so commonplace to the First Child that her mind automatically performed the synchronization, and after the first few minutes, the task faded to the background leaving her mind open to contemplate the activities and actions she would take. Under normal circumstances, Rei would concentrate on Eva and her piloting. She would remember her duty, and place herself in the mental landscape of an Evangelion preparing for attack. Sometimes she would imagine herself in the place of her opponent, an Angel. She would think of strategy and theory that concerned destroying her unit, or any of the other units. After all, to know your own weaknesses was to be able to eliminate vulnerability on the battlefield.   
  
However, her mind was not on the vulnerabilities of angels and Eva, but instead on the conundrum of the individual ant. She had exerted effort not to destroy the creature. While she would never have gone out of the way to eliminate it, why would she bother thinking about if it was in her path? The ant was not a considerable obstacle, yet the incident had frozen her in action. An ant was insignificant compared to her, right?   
  
But each ant was significant to its colony. Each worker was necessary, although somewhat expendable. One ant can be replaced, but this particular ant was carrying a load for the colony. While the colony would likely survive if the ant had been crushed by her foot, it would have had to send another ant in its place to accomplish the task of acquiring the necessary material.   
  
Not to mention the loss of the ant's abilities, however insignificant, to the whole. Therefore the ant was needed by the colony. The energy she expended in not stepping on the ant was insignificant to the energy required for the hive to replace the ant. Therefore it made sense to allow the ant to live. After all, the ant intended her no harm. It would have attacked her if she had threatened it, or the hive, but otherwise it was oblivious to her existence. Of course, it could not have survived the attack against her. Just as a human would not survive the encounter of a rampaging angel… or perhaps a rampaging Evangelion.   
  
Rei blinked in the chamber, but her synchronization rate didn't waver. As the ant was to her, as was a human to an Evangelion. How many could she have stepped on in her Eva, charging to catch a falling angel? How many could have died under the sole of her foot as she trod across the landscape – a giant playing in the land of humanity? How many had been crushed under an angel's unyielding weight? Certainly the number was not great, since people were evacuated to shelters during the emergencies. Yet, what would happen if she were charging the angel and a human fell beneath her feet? Like the ant was beneath her foot earlier in the day…  
  
All these thoughts were in the forefront of Rei Ayanami's mind as she struggled silently with the internal dilemma. Had anyone seen the Dummy System itself, a mirror of that particular battle would likely be seen in each of its various components. For as Rei was the core of the Dummy System, so was she the source of its tactical information and knowledge.   
  
After several hours of internal debate she finally came to a conclusion. 'Human life is worth preserving. We pilot Evangelion to protect humanity. While the survival of the whole takes precedence over the survival of the few or the one, the individual must be considered. If an individual can be saved without changing the outcome of the battle, then that individual must be saved. Even one human life is important.' Rei sighed softly in the LCL, and around the chamber, a similar sigh was released in the core of the Dummy System.   
  
-  
  
_September 13th, 2015 - 9:23pm_  
  
Rei sat patiently in her plug. She'd already been submerged in the liquid for almost twelve hours before the Eva synchronization test began, and now she was still in the liquid after fourteen hours. The Second and Third Children had been bickering between each other about mundane things for the last twenty minutes. Rei wondered why they had so much to say to each other about things so… insignificant. As they continued to argue, Rei watched a small window that showed Doctor Akagi and the rest of the Prinbow Box sync test team.   
  
The terminal window displayed 'Mute' as the status. 'Doctor Akagi does not wish to hear the Third and Second argue…' Rei thought to herself. Noting the concerned look on the doctor's face, Rei rationalized that Akagi was clearly struggling with something - perhaps it was the upcoming Activation test tomorrow.   
  
The Unit 03 Activation Test was going to be a three day period that Rei would not be required to directly synchronize with the Dummy System, since the Doctor would not be there to monitor the interaction between the Magi and the Dummy Control Systems… 'And me,' Rei thought absently. A sudden yell from Asuka broke Rei's train of conscious thought.   
  
"You were playing with my panties, weren't you!" She screamed at Shinji.   
  
Shinji, aghast, went into a defensive posture, "I would never… I don't even like red that much."   
  
"You idiot! How did you know they were red, unless you were playing with them, you pervert!"   
  
"I… I didn't!!!" Shinji defended himself weakly.   
  
"Then how the hell did you know about it, you pervert?" Asuka retorted; smiling inwardly as the Third Child cringed. "Well?"   
  
Shinji stuttered more, "I…I…"   
  
"It's obvious." Rei said softly, not wanting to participate in the argument but finding herself compelled to speak.   
  
Asuka's façade shattered, and for a split second, all color drained from her face before she regained control, "O…Oh yeah, First Child, then you explain it to me!"   
  
"Shinji does the chores in the house, therefore he washes the clothes." Rei said.   
  
Asuka snorted, "Of course he does. You don't think I, The Great Asuka Langley Sohryu, would perform such menial tasks such as laundry duty!" Asuka ignored Rei as she turned to Shinji. "Now, explain why…" Asuka didn't have the chance to finish.   
  
"It's been explained. He knows the color of your underwear because he washed your underwear." Rei cited calmly, hoping that would bring the distracting argument to an end.   
  
Shinji blinked once, and then his face brightened, "Y-Yeah!!! That's why I know Asuka! You certainly don't go out of your way to wash them." Shinji said with a hint of a smirk on his face.   
  
Asuka's face turned beet red, as she blushed furiously at the results and implication of the First Child's sudden verbosity, and the Third's sudden courage. She had just been made a fool of by the two Children. Shinji started to cringe slightly, as Asuka began to scowl in his direction, with the occasional withering glare directed at Rei's window. Asuka sucked in a large lungful of LCL, and was prepared to scream at the top of her lungs.  
  
Suddenly Ritsuko broke in on the channel, "Very good Shinji, I see your synchronization ratio just jumped a point and a half. You're starting to catch up with Asuka. I think that's enough for today..."   
  
Rei sighed as the signal from Asuka's unit went away and the synchronization with Unit 00 was severed. As her plug went dark, she allowed herself a moment to relax. Soon however, the LCL drained from the test plug and the cover was opened.   
  
-  
  
Rei quickly exited and began gathering her things from the area in the test plug. While Rei took her time, a flustered Second Child made her way to the locker room, muttering in German and dripping LCL all over the test area. Rei paid little attention, except to make sure that the Second was gone.   
  
However, Rei soon felt a presence behind her as she continued her departure preparations. For a moment, she half expected it to be the Commander, but then realized it could only be one person – since the commander couldn't get down here that fast, and probably wouldn't come down at all unless there was an urgent matter to discuss.   
  
"I…" Shinji gulped, as Rei turned around to face him. "I…I… just wanted to say, you know, thank you."   
  
"What for?" Rei asked, puzzled.   
  
"For sticking up for me in front of Asuka… I couldn't find an excuse to give her that would make her… stop." Shinji managed.   
  
Rei arched an eyebrow, "So you did take her underwear?"   
  
"N…No!" Shinji quickly answered. "I… I washed them, like I always do. I…I… I just couldn't think of how to tell her, that's all."   
  
Rei looked at him oddly for a moment, "Is that the truth?"   
  
Shinji became very serious, "I would never do such a thing. I didn't 'play' with her underwear. After all, that particular shade of red is not exactly my favorite color."   
  
"Why?" Rei asked.   
  
"Why what?" Shinji nervously shifted from one foot to the other.   
  
"Why do you not like red?" Rei clarified.   
  
"It's not that I don't like all red… it's just that… her panties – they were _blood_ red. I…I don't particularly care to see that color."   
  
Rei thought about this for a moment. "So you find this particular shade of red… upsetting?"   
  
Shinji nodded.   
  
"Why?" Rei asked, her head tilting.   
  
Shinji thought for a moment, "B…Because. The first memory I have of being here at NERV, is holding you when you were injured. You bled all over my hand, and I remember looking at the blood. Then I got in the cockpit of the Eva, and they pumped in the LCL… it smelled like blood. Then there was the battle, so much blood, everywhere…'   
  
Rei continued to stare at him. "You are afraid of blood?"  
  
Shinji shook his head back and forth, "No. Blood doesn't frighten me much… I'm not afraid of blood; I just don't like the color."   
  
"My eyes are red." Rei said softly, searching his eyes for some hint of deception.   
  
"It's not the same. Blood-red, that is the color I hate, Ayanami. I guess because if I saw you bleeding, it means that you were hurt. I can't tolerate seeing people I care about hurt."   
  
Rei froze for a moment, "You… care about me?"   
  
"O…Of Course!" Shinji exclaimed. "I… I consider you a friend, Ayanami."   
  
"You consider Sohryu a friend?" Rei asked softly, her eyes suddenly cast downward. While she was interested in his response to her comment about her eyes, she did not want to see his reaction to the mention of the Second.   
  
Shinji nodded. "Yes. Although she doesn't seem to want to be, I know things can be different with her. I just need to give her the chance."   
  
Rei nodded, an almost sad expression on her face, "I understand."  
  
"Y…you do?"   
  
"Yes. You hate red, red like blood. Blood outside the body is a sign that the body is injured. You do not like to see your friends injured. Therefore you hate red." Rei reflected, 'It is logical.'   
  
"You're right, Ayanami." Shinji said, scratching the back of his head and fidgeting.   
  
Rei's eyes snapped to his. "Rei."   
  
"Excuse me, Ayanami?" Shinji asked softly, his arms falling to his side.   
  
"It is customary for friends to call each other by their first names, is it not, Ikari?"   
  
"Um… yes it is…"   
  
"Then, you may call me Rei." The First Child said formally.   
  
"U…Uh ok… Rei." Shinji said softly.   
  
Rei turned to complete her tasks, as Shinji continued to stand behind her. Rei felt his gaze boring into her back, yet she didn't want to turn around and face him. She had her duties to accomplish, menial as they were. While she had no dislike of LCL, she certainly did not want the substance dried to her skin. It was difficult to clean dried LCL unless one was re-immersed in the fluid.   
  
Shinji fidgeted for another few moments, before finally saying, "Rei… Call me Shinji."   
  
Rei froze in her actions yet again, and blinked several times. Her lips echoed the name for a moment, then she gave intonation to her voice. "Very Well… Shinji."   
  
Rei didn't have to turn around to know that the Third Child had moved away. But had she turned, she would have noticed a small, thoughtful grin on the face of Shinji Ikari.   
  
-  
  
As Rei quietly made her way to the locker room, she paused for a moment. 'Why? Why did I say that Ikari could call me 'Rei'? We are co-workers, yes? We are equals? On many levels we are similar to each other.' Rei's thoughts drifted for a moment before returning. She felt the color rise in her cheeks, 'Is this… pleasure? This lack of emptiness…'   
  
"Rei." The cool voice of the Commander pierced the young child's reverie.   
  
Rei turned around, and noticed the Commander standing right behind her. "Sir." She stated with glee.   
  
Softly, the commander looked down upon her, the slightest hint of a smile on his face. It disappeared quickly though. "We need another hour in the Dummy System. We will have use for it tomorrow. I will be with you during this session."   
  
Rei's smile increased slightly. "Of course, sir."   
  
"Rei, this is very important. The Dummy System must be as ready as possible. Bardiel will attack tomorrow."   
  
"The thirteenth?" Rei said, a slight bit of confusion on her face. "Of course, sir." Rei paused for a moment, "Will the Activation Test for Unit 03 proceed as planned with the Fourth Child?"   
  
Gendo paused for a moment, struggling internally with something before finally letting out a sigh. "Unit 03 is to be the bait for the Angel. You are to reveal this to no one."   
  
Rei's smile disappeared, "What of the Fourth?"   
  
The Commander's face was as stone, "He is… expendable. However, if all goes according to the scenario, he should be uninjured by the encounter. Unit 03 is the least prepared Evangelion. Should the Angel choose one of the other units…"   
  
"I understand, sir." Rei said softly.   
  
Gendo nodded slightly. "Under no circumstances are you to tell the Third who the Fourth is. We will have a difficult enough time with him as is, which is why we must prepare the Dummy System."   
  
Rei nodded curtly, "Understood, Sir."   
  
"We will have some dinner after this." Gendo said. Rei's face lit up in a smile. Gendo warmly returned it.   
  
"Yes sir." Rei said, clutching her things tighter to herself. As the Commander walked past, leading the way to the Terminal Dogma elevators, Rei's smile fell away as she contemplated the revelations given to her.   
  
-  
  
_September 13th, 2015 - 10:41pm_  
  
As Rei floated in the yellow LCL liquid, her thoughts were consumed with the following three things: The Angel Bardiel, The welfare of her new friend, Shinji, and Shinji's relationship with the Fourth Child, Touji Suzuhara. 'Tomorrow I must defeat the Angel, or all is lost. Tomorrow I must protect Shinji, for he is my friend. Tomorrow I must try to protect Suzuhara, for he is Shinji's friend…' As these thoughts echoed through Rei's mind, they also echoed deep within the Dummy System.   
  
Before the last two sessions, the Dummy System had only the battle reflections of Ayanami's mind. Now it had something else. It had a set of priorities. The Dummy System knew four things: It was to defeat the Angel Bardiel - that was the first priority. The Second Priority was to protect the Pilot of Unit 01. The third priority was to protect the Fourth Child, pilot of Unit 03. Number four - even an ant deserves to live when the act of taking its life can be avoided.  
  
As Gendo and Rei left the Dummy Chamber, and the light in the center of the room was extinguished, two dozen softly glowing red eyes could be seen in the cloying darkness.   
  
--  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Well, this chapter is written. I hope you enjoy. I hope to have the encounter with the Thirteenth ready soon. You will enjoy it. By the way – there are no parings as of yet in this story. And, of course, this is a character analysis of Rei – so Shinji and Asuka are going to take a back seat to her thoughts and actions. I promise, though, these won't be out of character too much.   
  
Again, I'd like to thank Alnilam Orionis for glancing this through a bit before I posted. Now after I've boiled her eyes with my terrible work, and have improved my fic somewhat, I will now set it before the world. In all seriousness - without her input, I'd be cursing myself and pulling the revision down from the net after seeing all the blatant errors I made. She didn't pre-read this, though (she only looked through it for five minutes). So, don't blame her for any errors you may find. Like I said before, I'm far from perfect. I only hope that you enjoy the story so far. Please, remember, reviews make my muse happier.  
  
Later,   
PitViper 


	3. Chapter Two : Stir Thoroughly…

**How to Make a Human Being – Chapter 2**  
  
--  
  
Author's notes:   
  
The Fourteenth of September finally arrives for Rei and company. This is the day that everything changes, not just for Rei, but for everyone and everything associated with Evangelion. This is also where I either lose or win a lot of fans through my adaptation. Characterwise – Rei will not change obviously, but she will perform one of the key steps in changing, the disobeying of a direct order. The question becomes, can she protect Shinji? Time to find out, here's chapter two of _How to Make a Human Being_. Enjoy.   
  
Now I have to say, much of this is taken directly from episode 18, and that of course belongs to Gainax and Anno. (See disclaimer in the Prologue) Minor modifications made to make it fit in with my story.  
  
-  
  
Title: **How to Make a Human Being**  
Genre: Short Story  
Author: PitViper (pvalpha@yahoo.com)   
Created: 08/02/02  
Chapter1: 08/09/02  
Chapter2: 08/13/02  
Synopsis: Many believe that the character of Rei Ayanami is bound in steel to her duty – She accepts  
nothing into her life that is not related to Eva or Angels. This is the story of how a few small  
changes can make a big difference.   
  
--  
  
**How to Make a Human Being: Chapter Two – Stir Thoroughly…**   
  
_September 14th, 2015 - 7:51pm  
_  
"What?" Asuka yelled. Rei watched the redhead in a small window in her display.  
  
"What about Misato?" Shinji asked softly. "How can we fight if she's not here to lead us?"   
  
"Commander Ikari will assume command." Rei said softly, watching her monitors intently.   
  
"Father…" Shinji whispered, the plaintive sigh carrying more pain than any wound.   
  
Still, Rei could only watch.   
  
"Target Approaching" a voice said over the communication system.   
  
"B…But that's an Eva." Shinji said.   
  
"Negative. It is the target. Deploy in the planned pattern. Intercept and neutralize the Angel." Gendo Ikari's voice came over the command channel.   
  
"But…that's an Eva… there's a pilot, a Child like us!" Shinji exclaimed. After a few moments, Shinji muttered: "I wonder who the pilot is…"   
  
Rei watched as Asuka opened a communication window to Eva 01. "Don't you know? It's…." Suddenly Asuka's signal went to static, and her screams were heard over the communications system. After a few moments of intense screams, the signal went silent.   
  
"Eva 02 has gone Silent." A voice said. Another voice broke in, "Pilot ejected, life signs confirmed."   
  
Rei waited patiently for the angel to come near. 'It will attack me next. Perhaps if I do not deploy my AT-Field… What of Suzuhara? I…' Rei realized that she wouldn't be able to attack the Angel until the entry plug was removed from its back. 'I will coordinate with Shinji.' Rei decided. After all, two Eva's had a better chance at neutralizing the angel while preserving the pilot.   
  
The Commander broke in on the channel, "Rei. Neutralize the target, avoid close quarters fighting. I'm sending Unit 01 to you."   
  
That was what Rei needed. She gave no reply, no thanks for anticipating her need. She simply prepared to do her duty. Now, to fool the angel…   
  
-  
  
Commander Gendo Ikari watched as Unit 03 approached Unit 00's location.   
  
"Gendo," Kouzou Fuyutsaki intoned, "Aren't you going to send Unit 01 in to assist. You know very well that Unit 00 is vulnerable…   
  
Gendo sat with his hands perched in their famous position, "I wish to see what unfolds. Something… is off."   
  
-  
  
Rei had made her decision, "Shinji."   
  
"Yes?" The boy responded.   
  
"I am suppressing my AT Field. Do not unfold your AT Field until you are within attack range." Rei said, knowing that Unit 03 was about to approach her position.   
  
"I… I was ordered to hold position." Shinji said with confusion.   
  
Rei blinked; the betrayal clearly evident in her face. She shook it off quickly, 'Very well, Commander. If that is the way it is to be.' Rei's eyes narrowed at the viewer. "Shinji. The pilot is Suzuhara."   
  
"Rei!" Commander Ikari's voice came over the line. Rei used her will to cut off his signal, and open a secure link with Unit 01. Rei knew her time was short, she could hear the footfalls of Unit 03 approaching rapidly.   
  
"Shinji." Rei said to the immobile pilot. "I require your assistance…"   
  
"No… I won't attack the Eva. I won't hurt Touji." Absolute steel was in his voice.  
  
However, that didn't matter, "I have a plan. You must attack Unit 03… and distract it while I remove the entry plug…"   
  
"I… I can't hurt him, Rei."   
  
"If you do not, he will die, as will the rest of us."   
  
"What! What do you mean; I have to hurt him to keep him from dying?"   
  
"Yes…" Rei responded, noticing the shape of Unit 03 lumbering past. Her time was gone. 'He will not attack…'   
  
"I….I CAN'T." Shinji said.   
  
"You must, or all will be lost. It will be the end of everything. I only need you to distract Unit 03; I will retrieve its plug…" She watched the ominous figure of Unit 03, noticing the stuck entry plug.   
  
"O…Ok…" Shinji said, preparing to move forward. It would take the Third Child only thirty seconds to intercept the Angel. Unfortunately it was time that Rei did not have.   
  
Rei watched as Unit 03 stopped, and then her eyes almost bugged out… The Angel Bardiel twitched for a few moments, seemingly trying to bend over backwards. Suddenly, to Rei's eternal surprise, the monster managed to launch itself backwards. Before she could even raise her AT Field the creature had her pinned down, its knee in the small of the Eva's back, and its right arm firmly grasped around the back of her Eva's neck. She was immobile.   
  
"I'm coming Ayanami!" Shinji yelled. Rei visualized Unit 01 running towards her at top speed.   
  
Still, he would not make it. She felt the searing pain as her arm was infected by the Angel's venom. She screamed in absolute agony, 'I…I cannot let… let… Shinji…' Rei screamed one last time, but this was a scream of defiance, her eyes leveled on her opponent. "Protect." She muttered. The pain of the infection disappeared, and Unit 00's cyclopean eye shined a bright, frightening red…  
  
--  
  
"Cut It Off…" Commander Ikari intoned.   
  
"SIR, Infection has stopped, contamination has been reversed!"   
  
"AT Field detected, pattern… Unknown."   
  
"Second AT Field detected, Pattern Orange."   
  
"Unknown AT Field, vanished. Second Field, confirmed, Eva 00."  
  
"Eva 01 approaching Unit 00's position rapidly. ETA 13 seconds."  
  
"Synchronization Ratio rising in Unit 00, nearly sixty five percent." Maya shouted.   
  
Commander Ikari watched the scene for a moment. This was not the plan. 'Forgive me, Yui.'   
  
He watched as Unit 00 struggled to its feet, and slammed its fist into Unit 03's face armor. The angel back stepped several meters from the blow.   
  
"Unit 01, five seconds to intercept. AT Field Detected, Confirmed, Field is Unit 01's."   
  
"Unit 00, Thirty seconds power, the cable has been severed, and the batteries are overloading…"   
  
"CUT IT OFF!" Gendo commanded Maya. She looked up, as Shinji extended his AT Field. "THE ARM, NOW!" The commander reiterated. He reached into his jacket.   
  
Maya knew that the commander was reaching for his gun. The command, having been given just as Unit 00 was about to hit Unit 03 again, was executed. Maya averted her eyes from the screen as the diseased, but healing, limb was forcibly separated from Unit 00's shoulder.   
  
-  
  
Rei screamed in agony, as she felt her shoulder literally blown off. "NO!!!" She exclaimed, as she watched Shinji feebly grab for the partially ejected entry plug. "No…" She whimpered. "I… failed…" The next moment saw the Thirteenth Angel turn on the Eva, and toss it into the distance. With a final desperate glance and a whimper of agony, Rei lost consciousness from the pain.   
  
-  
Maya glanced up at her console long enough to confirm the readings, "U…Unit 00 has gone silent. Target is attacking Unit 01."   
  
The command staff watched as Unit 01 was thrown into the distance. The Eva stood slowly, as its pilot realized that there was only one way to stop the Angel. Eva Unit 01 stood still.   
  
Suddenly, Unit 03's arms began twitching. The Angel-infested unit reached out with first the left arm, then the right, grappling Eva 01's neck in a choke hold from an impossible distance.   
  
"Cut the Synchronization Ratio to 60%" Fuyutsaki ordered.   
  
"No." Gendo said, once again in his favorite position.   
  
The old teacher gasped, "But the pilot? He can be killed at that level…"   
  
Gendo ignored his sensei's words. Instead he spoke softly into the open communication line to Unit 01. "Why don't you fight, Shinji?"   
  
Shinji muttered between gasps, "Because… Touji's… in there."   
  
"Negative, it is an Angel, it is an enemy. If you don't fight, then you will die."   
  
"I'd rather die than kill Touji," The pilot said, his voice strained.   
  
"Cut pilot synchronization, Lieutenant Ibuki." Gendo ordered.   
  
"Sir?" Maya said. "If I…"   
  
"Switch the connections over to the dummy system…"   
  
"But… the dummy system isn't stable, without Doctor Akagi here to…"   
  
"Irrelevant. Right now, anything is better than the pilot. Do it."   
  
"Yes… Sir."   
  
-  
  
Shinji felt his throat constricting with the Angel's attack. Yet he refused to fight back. 'I will not hurt Touji; I will not hurt Touji… Let the end be swift, and my pain be over…' Shinji thought to himself.   
  
Suddenly the plug went dark, and the pressure upon his neck went away. Shinji slumped forward in the pilot's chair, his arms loosely grasping the butterfly controls… As Shinji brought his head back up, a whirring sound was heard in the background, and the Plug turned red.   
  
"Father… What is this?" The red plug showed the scenery outside the Unit, but Shinji didn't feel the grasp of the infested Unit 03 – even though it must be crushing the Eva's neck. "Father… Father!!! Answer me!!!"   
  
-  
  
"Father!" Shinji's voice came over the communications system. "FATHER! Why don't you answer me, Father?"   
  
"Links are good up to full synchronization. The Unit's accepting the uplink and dummy signal." A tech reported from the background.   
  
Shinji's voice was plaintive, "Father!!! What are you doing, father?"  
  
"Thirty eight point two percent of the emotional factor is unknown. We won't be able to monitor it…" Maya began arguing.   
  
"Answer me, Damn you!" Shinji's voice cried out, causing Maya to cringe.   
  
"It doesn't matter. Release the system for combat." Gendo instructed, barely able to contain the smirk he felt.   
  
"Y…Yes. Commander." Maya said, and did as ordered.   
  
"Father…" Shinji's voice faded into the background noise as the team unleashed the Dummy System.   
  
-  
  
Shinji felt the Unit power up. And heard the whirling increase behind his chair. "Father… What?" Then he realized the awful truth of what his father intended to make him do. "NO!"   
  
The Unit brought up its hand, and grasped the throat of Unit 03 firmly.   
  
"Stop this Father!" Shinji cried.   
  
Shinji felt Unit 01's right arm lift up and join the left in its vice-like grip on Unit 03's neck. Shinji knew that if the neck of the unit snapped, and Touji was synchronized…  
  
"FATHER!"   
  
Shinji heard the command center, as a voice said, "Gain is still increasing…"   
  
With those words, Shinji heard a sickening sound through the audio pickups… the sound of vertebrae cracking. Shinji watched as Unit 03 went limp in Eva 01's hands. "NO - STOP IT!"   
  
-  
Gendo smiled as the team watched as Unit 01 broke off Unit 03's left arm and tossed it into the distance, literally painting the town in red.   
  
"My god, is this the power of the Dummy System?" Someone asked.   
  
Maya cowered; her face turned away from what she knew was coming next. After all, Doctor Akagi had told her that the dummy system would continue to destroy the target until there was nothing left to destroy…   
  
-  
"Stop It. Stop It." Shinji screamed as his Eva tore apart Unit 03 with its hands, as armor cracked, and internal organs splattered against concrete and building alike. "Make it Stop… Stop… Stop!!!! STOP!!!! STOP!!!! STOP!!! STOP!!!!" Shinji just kept on repeating that mantra until he felt all movement in the Eva cease. His eyes were turned downward. He could feel the soreness of the Eva's hand through latent synchronization. While it wasn't like he was in control, he knew that the Eva now held something – the thing that it had been digging for in the contaminated mecha…   
  
Shinji looked up and saw. Sitting in the vice like grip of the Purple monster he piloted, Eva 03's entry plug…   
  
"TOUJI!!!" Shinji screamed. Then an odd thing happened. All the communication windows with the base closed, and no data came to him from Central. Then Shinji heard Rei's voice in his mind… like an echo through the latent synchronization that he had with Unit 01.   
  
"Defeat the Angel, Bardiel." The voice whispered, "Accomplished."   
  
"Rei?" Shinji inquired to the red-ensconced plug.   
  
"Protect Ikari…" The voice whispered, with a hint of emotion. "Protect Shinji… Accomplished."   
  
"REI!" Shinji said loudly.   
  
"Protect Suzuhara… Pilot of Unit 03…" The mecha gently held the plug closer to its body for a moment, then the Unit rose from its position, and moved a few hundred meters away from the wreckage, and found a non-bloodied section of roadway. It set the damaged Entry plug down gently on the roadway, and kneeled before it.   
  
Shinji's eyes grew wide as the mecha took a protective stance over the white cylinder. The voice whispered again, "Protect Suzuhara… Accomplished."   
  
The unit powered down.  
  
"Thank you, Rei." Shinji sighed in the now dim entry plug… however, a soft red glow could be seen behind Shinji's seat, and a soft whirring could be heard. A metal plate with the words "Dummy System Core 01 – REI" could be seen in glowing red letters…  
  
-  
  
"Impossible!" Gendo exclaimed furiously.   
  
Maya broke down in tears of joy as the Magi began to report monitoring information from the Dummy System. "It's stabilized!!! All the emotional factors have normalized. It's like we're looking at a copy of Rei! Sempai will be so amazed!!! It's… it's… It's incredible!"   
  
"LIEUTENANT!" Gendo shouted, looking down upon the now frightened tech. "I want to know why the Dummy System stopped! It shouldn't have been able to end synchronization with the unit!"   
  
"The Dummy System is still synchronized." Shigeru reported. "The unit is in low power consumption mode."   
  
"Answer the question, Lieutenant, why did the Dummy System stop?" Gendo said in a deadly whisper.   
  
Maya glanced back at the data she was now receiving… "I… I can't…"  
  
"WHY!" Gendo exclaimed.  
  
Maya stiffened, "I…it Identified Eva 03's plug as a friendly… sir."   
  
"Recover the pilots. I want a full report on the dummy system performance by Oh-five hundred tomorrow." Gendo muttered, walking away, his hand clenching into a fist every so often.  
  
"Y…yes sir." Maya said. 'That cold hearted bastard… he wanted to make Unit 01… to make Shinji… kill Suzuhara… Why?' The tech only spent a few minutes on these thoughts, as she walked back to the terminal to monitor the data capture from the dummy system.  
  
-  
  
Shinji sat calmly, in peace in the plug for the first time he could remember. He was back in the Geofront, staring at the plug rescued from Unit 03.   
  
"Thank you Rei." He repeated again. He knew that somehow the blue haired enigma known as Rei Ayanami was responsible for the Autopilot system stopping. It was Rei's voice he heard in his mind. Right now, the only thing that was illuminating the capsule was a small red glow coming from behind his chair and the light from the bay. He could hear the life-support pumps whirring in the background – although the very loud whirring sound was now gone. He sunk back into his seat, wondering what had happened to Misato.   
  
"Shinji… I'm so sorry."   
  
Shinji's eyes widened. "Misato?"   
  
"Oh, Shinji, there was something very important I had to tell you..."   
  
"Misato!!! You're alright!"   
  
"Shinji… there something… I'm so sorry. I should have told you… The Fourth Child… pilot of Unit 03… Is… I'm so sorry, Shinj… please forgive me… I am so sorry…"   
  
Shinji watched as Touji's body was pulled from the Eva plug. He zoomed in on his friend. "Touji… He's unconscious, but alright… Misato. Just a few bruises… It could have been far worse."  
  
"Oh, Shinji… I'm so glad that he's alright. You should have never had to…"   
  
"It's… its ok, Misato. He's ok now, and that's the important thing… And you're alright too – that's something else to be happy about."   
  
"Oh, Shinji…" Misato said, "They'll have you prepped for ejection in about twenty minutes, they want to scrub down the Eva first before they take you out."   
  
"I… I understand." Shinji sighed. For once, he didn't mind being in the cockpit. All felt… right. Even the Eva, which he was only barely synchronized with, was comforting and warm. Shinji powered down the small capsule, closing the video feed from the outside world. There was no need to waste the energy. His Evangelion still had three minutes of battery power left. No point in draining it yet. As he powered down the video, the plug was plunged into an eerie dim redness.   
  
As he sank back into his chair he became aware of something. A soft muttering could be heard. As he placed his ear against the seat, he could make it out just barely.   
  
"Defeat the Angel." The soft voice said.   
  
'Rei?' Shinji thought.   
  
"Protect Shinji, pilot of Unit 01…"  
  
"Rei?" Shinji whispered.   
  
"Protect Suzuhara, Pilot of Unit 03…"   
  
"Rei!" Shinji shouted.   
  
"Yes?" The reply came back. Then it went back to "Defeat the Angel." Rei's voice continued cycling through its list.  
  
Shinji turned on the manual illumination in the entry plug, and floated out of his seat. He began to search in an around the pilot's chair. 'What's happening here…' Shinji thought. Subconsciously, he was still partially linked with Unit 01. He could feel the pulse of his heartbeat, as he frantically searched for the release. As he searched, he spotted the source of the red glow.   
  
"Dummy System Core… Unit 01… Rei?" Shinji muttered to himself. Right above the glowing panel, was a small release switch. He pressed it.   
  
Suddenly, the plug's displays glowed red – as with the dummy activation sequence. The words "Remote Monitoring Terminated" Appeared on the screen. Otherwise nothing unusual happened. Shinji backed away from the seat, sinking further into the plug. He watched as the seat folded upwards, revealing a bunch of glowing electronics, tubes… and something else.   
  
Shinji's heartbeat climbed into his throat, as his eyes focused on the object he had recently been sitting on top of. Only it wasn't an object…  
  
Embedded below Shinji's chair, shoved into a space that could barely accommodate a four year old child, her arms and hands plugged and wired to the components surrounding her – a hollow looking face… but those unmistakable features. Soft blue hair… Red eyes.   
  
"Rei?"   
  
The eyes darted up at him.   
  
"Protect Ikari. Protect Shinji. Protect Ikari…" Rei said over and over.   
  
Shinji floated up nearer to her, not noticing that the plug had gotten brighter, as the system began to start itself. Shinji got into touching distance of this Rei. Shinji looked down, as the clone forced its hand upwards, tearing out gouges of flesh as it came up; the wires falling downwards into the recesses of the area she was 'plugged' into.   
  
"My… GOD!!! REI!!!"   
  
"Shinji… Ikari…" She muttered, and took her torn hand and gently touched his cheek. "Protect Shinji Ikari… H…Hel… Help… me…"   
  
"I'll get you out of here Rei."   
  
There were tears forming in her red eyes, dissipating quickly in the LCL…   
  
Shinji went to cradle her head, to feel behind, and came in touch with a bar attached to her spinal column. His eyes became wide, "Y...you are not my Rei. You can't be… This would have been impossible… You can't be Rei."   
  
The clone looked into his eyes, unable to move her head. "I am I. I am Rei. I am the Fifteenth."   
  
"FIFTEENTH WHAT?" Shinji shouted.   
  
"I… I am… I… I Am the Fifteenth Rei." She brought her hand back up to touch Shinji's face again.   
  
"They… They cloned… They cloned you Ayanami!"   
  
"I…" Rei closed her eyes for several moments, then reopened them, "A…am I a clone?" Rei asked, softly.   
  
"No… This isn't happening. No… Father… Tell me you didn't do this to Ayanami…" Shinji finally noticed how her naked body had various tubes and wires running from it. "No… this isn't… IT can't be…" Shinji floated backwards, away from this Rei. "Someone… Anyone… SOMEONE HELP ME!!!"   
  
As Shinji screamed both mentally and physically, he felt something. A heartbeat. But this wasn't his own heart. It was far larger than his… Then he felt a gentle force envelop him. "Eva Synchronization…" Shinji muttered. The sound built, as the Eva synchronized with him.   
  
He felt the Eva link with him… and look through his eyes at the sight before him… In his mind he heard soft words… a familiar presence… a lost memory: 'If it's a boy, Shinji. A girl, Rei.' A male voice said. 'My father's voice,' Shinji quickly realized. A few moments passed in his mind, then - 'Shinji… Rei… Good names.' The voice, so familiar… "MOTHER!"   
  
The female presence then exclaimed in Shinji's mind, "DAUGHTER!!!" Shinji felt the mecha lurch, and he looked around as the voice exclaimed in his mind, "Gendo you bastard! My Son! My Daughter!!!"   
  
Shinji felt himself being thrown forward as the mecha moved on its own. Shinji went flying into Rei with considerable force, as the mecha's momentum thrust it forward and backwards, trying to shatter its restraints to the cage.   
  
Rei began muttering, "Protect Shinji… Protect Shinji…" as she freed her other arm to hold on to the boy who had nothing to secure him in the wildly moving mecha. But her grasp was weak and when the Unit finally freed itself; it lurched with enough force to knock Shinji upwards, beyond her reach, with incredible momentum.   
  
Shinji's eyes remained locked on the top of Rei's head for the two seconds that it took him to reach the only obstacle in his path to the top of the Entry Plug – the upraised seat/dummy system cover. His inertia carried him into the exposed underside, which was covered with instrumentation and a crude analog of the plug's regular displays and controls, and a soft pop was heard. Everything went black for Shinji Ikari, and the last thing that he heard was Unit 01's terrifying Berserker bellow…  
  
Rei's voice echoed as the mecha jostled around: "Protect… protect… protect…"   
--   
  
Author's Notes:   
  
Well. I was going to go into the aftermath here, but I feel that part should be in a chapter of its own. I think that this section stands up pretty well on its own as well.   
  
Unfortunately, Alnilam was unable to suffer through this chapter, so it's being posted without her god-like pre-reading skills. (She's worked very hard at them, and I think she has a far better grasp of the English language than I do.) In any case, I have full responsibility for all the massive errors you're likely to encounter in this version. Flame on. At least it's a review. And all are welcomed.   
  
I just hope I won't keep you waiting long for the next chapter…   
  
Later,   
PitViper (pvalpha@yahoo.com)   
  
Edit - 8/13/2002: Font change to Arial.  
Edit - 8/14/2002: Changed "stood" in "Gendo _stood_ with his hands perched..." to "sat"... Thanks to KevinEC for catching that.   
  
Spoilers ahead:  
  
BTW, Kevin, There's a dummy in the dummy plug - always. Eva cannot synchronize with anyone or anything other than one of the Children.   
  
Thanks to a piece of information someone pointed out to me, there are 11 Rei's in the dummy chamber when Ritsuko destroyed the system. They are labled 4-14. the first was killed at the age of 7 (Rei I), the second was killed at the age of 14 (Rei II), Rei III was extracted at the time of Rei II's death, which means that at the time I started this story, there are 12 Reis still in the chamber (Hence the 24 softly glowing red eyes...) There is also one Rei in the dummy plug - which I've labeled the Fifteenth Rei... Of course, much of this is opened to interpretation and speculation. I've chosen to take my story in this direction  
  
About Gendo. He was smiling while 01 tore apart unit 03 in the story. I have no doubt that he wanted to traumatize Shinji. Gendo's character is obsessed with Yui. If Absolute Power corrupts absolutely, I wonder what someone would do about Absolute Love? Ikari Gendo has but one goal in life, to be reunited with Yui. He is willing to do this at the expense of everyone and everything around him. This has made him cold and hard. Gendo will not cower, I promise you that. And he will receive his chance at redemption.   
  
Edit - 8/19/2002: Changed date to the 14th instead of the 13th. Typo from original. Corrected Children to Child for singular use.  
  



	4. Chapter Three : Now We Add Some Vinegar

How to Make a Human Being - Chapter 3

--

  
Author's Notes:   
  
Hi. Not much to say here - people say I jabber too much anyways. I'm just going to let everything unfold before your eyes.  
  
So enjoy chapter 3. That's an order. :D   
  
--  
  
Title: How to Make a Human Being  
Genre: Short Story  
Author: PitViper (pvalpha@yahoo.com mailto:pvalpha@yahoo.com)   
Created: 08/02/02  
Chapter1: 08/09/02  
Chapter2: 08/13/02  
Chapter3: 08/18/02 modified v2 - 08/19/02  
  
Synopsis: Many believe that the character of Rei Ayanami is bound in steel to her duty - She accepts nothing into her life that is not related to Eva or Angels. This is the story of how a few small changes can make a big difference. 

--

How to Make a Human Being: Chapter 3 - Now we add some vinegar… 

September 15th, 2015 -12:10pm

Rei's eyes suddenly snapped open as the nurse adjusted her position on the bed. As her eyes focused on the ceiling above, she whispered softly, "I'm still alive…" 

"Yes dear," the nurse said to the strange looking young girl who was lying in bed. She watched as a curious red-eyed stare met her own for a brief instant, then moved down to examine her arm. "It's just a precaution. You have several hairline fractures along the length of the arm - and severe muscle strain. The bandages and brace are just for pressure and support so that your pain is minimized. 

"This is not the NERV infirmary…" 

The nurse looked away. "The infirmary was damaged, along with the rest of the Central Dogma Complex. It was temporarily evacuated until the teams can confirm its structural integrity and continued operational capacity." 

"Did…" Rei licked her lips for a moment, "Did the Angel cause the damage?" 

"No… they… I've heard rumors. It was Unit 01…" the nurse replied softly. "I heard that there was some sort of experiment that went awry and that… Pilot Ikari…" The nurse tried not to say the name with anger, but she failed miserably: "That Pilot Ikari went on a rampage… I hope he never pilots again!" 

Rei's eyes narrowed, "It was not Shinji's fault. He had no control over the Evangelion."

"His fault…" the nurse muttered. 

"Impossible." Rei countered. 

"It _has _to be his fault… because if it wasn't then Karl died for nothing." The nurse finally intoned. 

"You have lost someone?" Rei said thoughtfully. 

The nurse nodded, tears flowing down her cheeks. 

The sight of the tears triggered something deep inside Rei. "What is it you feel when you cry?" 

The nurse steadied her gaze on the young pilot. "I… I don't know."

Rei tilted her head slightly, her gaze begging the nurse to try to verbalize what she felt.

"E…Empty." The nurse said. "Cold… in here," the nurse brought her hands to cover her heart, and they slipped down further to her abdomen. "A numb sensation… here…" Rei blinked at this. "It's as though a part of me has been torn out, and all that's left is a cold memory of what was once there. I… I think I expected pain… but not this… emptiness."

"How… is Shinji…" Rei paused for a moment, then repeated, "How is Pilot Ikari?" Rei asked. 

The nurse immediately averted her gaze, "I…. I feel so ashamed. At first I thought it was poetic justice…"

"Tell me." Rei's voice used a commanding tone that those who knew her would never have thought that she possessed. 

"He… He's probably still in surgery. A lot of injured were moved out to other hospitals so that the surgical team could work on him…" 

"Tell me!" Rei commanded, her voice resonating oddly in the private recovery room. 

Almost against her will, the nurse obeyed the commanding voice of the First Child, "They… they say his spine was severed between the eighth and ninth vertebrae."

"He… is alive?" Rei asked - her voice once more the soft tonal quality normally associated with a child her age and physique. 

"Y…yes. But he'll likely never walk again." 

Rei released a soft sigh, "Time can heal any wound, except the mortal ones. For most, death is a permanent state." Rei watched as the last words caused the nurse to wince slightly, "It may be of little comfort, but Pilot Ikari's actions saved thousands of lives today. Thousands who would have otherwise died…" Rei wanted to do something, but could not find the words to give voice to her emotions. Her inner turmoil was building, but she had no release for it. So she focused on the present, "When may I leave?" 

The nurse straightened slightly, "W…When you feel up to…" The nurse didn't finish getting the words out. 

Rei quickly stood from the bed, fingering her damaged arm after examining it a moment, still trying to find something within that would help this poor soul. '_Lost soul_, she has lost her completion. She is hollow, empty… like… I was.' Rei sighed slightly, "When may the pressure bandage and splint be removed?" 

"The doctor would like you to keep it on for several days at least…" 

"It would interfere with piloting." Rei said, cutting off the nurse from explaining the doctor's orders, "I will wear it until I must fulfill my duties again, or until the doctor believes it may be removed safely." 

The nurse nodded, wiping away a stray tear as she watched the pilot flex her good hand and arm. 

"About… your loss…" Rei said hesitantly, her voice a little above a whisper. "I… I think I understand." 

"Y…You do?" The nurse looked up, a small glimmer of hope in her eye. 

"I have felt that way since the first day I can remember life." Rei stated, looking at the door. "Only recently have I found someone that… that takes away the emptiness." Rei paused, and took a most unexpected action. She moved her good hand, and gently touched where the tears had fallen down the nurse's cheek. "I... I could not cry." Rei said, feeling something warm spring up within her, "But I do know… That the emptiness will go away. It just takes… time." 

The nurse touched the girl's hand for a moment, holding it against her face. "T…Thank you." 

Rei held her composure, if only barely. Bad enough that she had once experienced such interminable loneliness, but to see it inflicted on another? She could not allow such thoughts to consume her, she had done what she could; there was no more to do. "I… I am going to go to him now." As Rei turned to the door, she thought: 'I go to him now to remind myself that this emptiness can be vanquished… and that I still have him with me.' 

-

Rei walked unerringly towards where she knew Shinji was. One would think by watching her she knew the exact layout of the building. They would be in error. She simply felt a connection with the Third - a connection that helped to ease her loneliness and fill, if only for a few moments, the void within. She paid no attention to the suffering and pain that was evident around her. Patients and bodies were piled up around the small hospital's primary surgical suite - waiting their turn at the life-saving equipment contained within. Although the small building had other surgery rooms, this one was the only one that had the equipment necessary to save these people's lives. Many had already died, awaiting their turn at the medical facility. Many more would be dead before the medical facility was surrendered to the use of the hospital. 

"Shinji… Ikari…" Rei whispered as she approached the first door. She hesitated a moment, remembering the bandage and brace placed around her right arm. She then used her left to push open the door. Before her was a small waiting area right outside the surgical wing. Rei quickly retrieved her swipe card, noticing the door reader with red illumination indicating that the rooms beyond were inaccessible through this doorway. As she walked up to the door, a piercing voice caught her attention. 

"I thought you'd be visiting the Commander by now?" 

Rei's eyes narrowed at door before her. She didn't want to deal with the second's demeaning attitude at this moment. Still, the red-haired Child's comment had pierced her determination and piqued her interest. "Is the Commander still alive?" 

"What?" Asuka asked the First, "Don't you know?" 

"I just became conscious ten minutes ago." Rei said, turning to face the Second, who was still dressed in her demon-red plugsuit. 

"Idiot Shinji's puppet went haywire." Asuka stated bluntly, her eyes staring off into the distance. "They lost contact soon after he powered down his Eva to full life-support mode. They say he accessed something dealing with an autopilot or something like that… Misato knows, but she won't tell me…" Asuka's fists clenched slightly. "I wish that someone would tell me… But that's beside the point." 

Rei noticed the pause in the red-head's explanation, "Then please get to the point." Rei demanded, wanting to know the story, even if it came from Asuka's point of view. 

"Well…" Asuka said, ignoring the fact that the First Child had just ordered her to continue, "It seems that whatever it was - the autopilot or whatnot - was under his chair. Well… in any case, when he saw it… He must have panicked, because a few seconds later the Eva went berserker. While the Eva bucked the cage restraints, evidently that idiot weakling lost his grip on whatever was keeping him still in the Eva and slammed his back against the underside of his chair. There's a lot of equipment hidden under that thing, you know." 

"Yes." Rei said softly, knowing just what kind of equipment was 'hidden' under this particular seat. 

Asuka went back to her story telling mode, "In any case, the idiot got his back broken and fell unconscious. The Eva went on a rampage. It tore through the containment wall and into the command center. Then it went ripping through several corridors after something, and then, finally, it came back to the command center. It reached up over the high-tower and clawed its way near to the Commander's post. Then they said that the Eva roared, and shoved its hand into the Commander's office!" 

Rei nodded softly, acknowledging that she understood. "The Commander is dead?" She knew that her own Eva harbored an almost insane desire to destroy that particular human. It took all her will to prevent the mecha from carrying out its own hunt and seek operation each time it was activated. It was quiescent as long as she didn't think about the Commander, or as long as she was distant enough that the entity within Unit 00 knew that it would never reach the target before its power ran out. 

"No." Asuka said, almost disappointed at voicing the revelation. "The Evangelion ran out of power right before it was about to crush both him and that desk of his." Asuka looked at Rei, still half dressed in her plugsuit. "I do know that the Plug responded to the eject signal shortly after, and that Maya was the first person to look in the plug. Whatever was in there wasn't too pretty - she vomited on the floor, what was left of the floor near Unit 01, shortly after she peered in. 

"Misato was the next one to get in there… According to Kaji, she got so angry that she walked over to the Commander, who was still sitting at his desk… the desk almost crushed in the grip of 01… and knocked him unconscious. Misato ordered him placed under arrest. A few of the officers protested, and Misato made them look in the plug. Evidently that was enough for them, and they have him in the holding cells." Asuka narrowed her eyes, "So your precious 'Commander' isn't in there. And you're not going to be able to get in either. I've already tried my card, it doesn't permit me access. But since the Commander isn't here, you should be a good little doll and go back to your master - considering he's not hurt like that idiot son of his."

Rei turned back to the door and contemplated using her card to access it. She felt an urge to prove the Second wrong. 'Why? Why do I want to prove her wrong? Is it… because I want her to respect me? Look up to me?' Rei pocketed her card. It would not do to have an infuriated Second Child following her into the surgical area. "I am not a doll. The Commander's current disposition is irrelevant." And it was to the First Child. 

Asuka blinked, "Why are you here?" 

Rei turned and stared into the Second Child's blue eyes. "For Shinji," she said at a whisper, then made her way to a short bench near Asuka, sat, and began contemplating the changes welling up within her. 

-

After forty minutes of waiting, the doors to the surgical suite opened, and Misato came out, her hands over her eyes, a weary expression on her face. "Asuka… they've… finished with…" Misato removed her hand from her vision, and stared at the small waiting area. Asuka had barely started to look up when she saw something flash in Misato's eyes. A moment later, all Asuka had felt was a soft breeze, and discovered that her guardian was no longer standing before her. "Misato?" Asuka slowly turned to find her guardian, and discovered a sight that she had never expected to see.

"Give me one good reason not to scatter your brains to the four winds," Misato hissed at the blue-haired child currently being throttled - her back pinned against the wall, Misato's forearm against her trachea, and the major's UN issue nine-millimeter semi-automatic pistol less than a millimeter from her right temple.

Rei felt her windpipe constricted, but the bulk of her weight was being supported by Misato's forearm, which was more on her chest than on her neck. She could still breathe and still talk, but chose to only stare into her attacker's eyes. 

Misato became even angrier with the blue haired Child. "You aren't afraid of death? The Commander's personal Angel? That bastard…" Misato breathed deeply, "What were you going to do, huh?" 

"Misato!" Asuka yelled, noticing her fellow pilot's feet were almost a dozen centimeters off the floor. 

Misato turned to Asuka, and leveled a gaze at her that would make an army run. 

Asuka blew it off, "She's a Pilot!" Asuka defended her 'arch-enemy'. 

"She's a goddamn Angel!" Misato spat, turning back to Rei and clicking the hammer back on the gun. 

"So… I am an Angel?" Rei whispered, choking slightly. 

"So, just think I'll let you come back, huh? How many of you are there? Ten? Twenty? A hundred? How many fucking clones did he make?" Misato pressed harder, "How many clones do I have to put a bullet into before you are gone forever?" 

"Twelve…" Rei whispered, gasping for breath. "Including…the…one in the plug." 

"Misato!!!" 

"What!" The major growled at her charge. 

"So what?" Asuka asked; a nonplussed look on her face. 

"So what!?!" Misato shouted. 

"It just explains everything." Asuka said, looking at the blue haired girl who was turning blue faced as well. "So which one is she?" 

"Huh?" Misato asked, bewildered that her charge would hold no animosity towards Rei. 

Asuka struck a pose, her hand against her chin, "Lets see, we have Adam, Sachel, Matriel, Lelial…" 

"I… I don't know." Rei managed; her breaths coming shorter and her body dangling even more loosely. "I… never… knew." 

Asuka continued, as Ritsuko walked in and dropped her clipboard, "Well, if she were an Angel - something I'm inclined to agree with, by the way." Asuka stared at Rei's eyes, "After all, only one of _them_ could best Asuka Langley Sohryu… But... Misato, don't you think if she were our enemy, her AT-Field would be smashing you against a wall - powdering your bones and reducing you to the equivalent of organic paste as she laughed at the futility of your assault?"

Misato blinked, "She's one of them; she has to know…" 

"Misato, she doesn't know anything…" Ritsuko finally said. "She doesn't know, she can't know. She's Rei. That's all she is."

"They… IT killed my Father, Ritsuko." 

"Rei is not of Adam. If anything, she's of… Yui Ikari…" Ritsuko turned away, "Do… Do you want to tell Shinji that you've killed his sister?" Seeing Misato strangle Rei now was too similar to the security tape of her mother strangling Rei… and then committing suicide. But in short order three things happened. First she heard the hammer of the gun slowly click back into the 'safe' position. Then she heard the weapon clatter against the floor. Finally, she heard a body collapse down the wall, and a child's cough filled the room as the blue haired angel sucked in deep gasps of air and precious oxygen. 

"Why?" Misato asked, looking down at her hands, exhausted. 

Ritsuko looked up, as though coming to a realization herself. "He couldn't let her go," She finally said. "Anyone would have done, but he chose to recreate _her_ - or try to, using the best the technology of the time could produce. I guess… so that he'd have a reminder of her, even if she is not a perfect copy. Other than an empty grave and a few scattered pictures in his private office, she is all that remains of his wife and Shinji's mother" 

"Shinji…" Misato gasped, "Shinji told me, he had no pictures of his mother - because his father refused to keep them." 

Ritsuko laughed harshly, "I've seen them. They're in his desk. He always looks at them, always when nobody is around."

While the two adults talked softly, Asuka went to sit beside Rei. "So, wondergirl…" Asuka looked at her guardian, then back at Rei, "What is it like… to be an Angel?" 

"I do not know what it is like to be an Angel. I only know what it is like to be me. I'm Alone… so alone…" Rei whispered, her good hand rubbing her neck. 

Asuka asked, "How alone?" 

"Do… do you know that feeling… an emptiness - alive in its… depths and complete consummation of all that is warm and fulfilling?" 

"Ja." Asuka whispered softly. 

"That is what it is like to be me. Alone within oneself… Always alone." 

"Your mother, your father?" Asuka asked, not understanding completely, "Did you have any family?" 

"Commander Ikari… was the only one." Rei said. "Until Shinji, I had no one else."

"No memory of being… one of them?" Asuka asked, looking at the young girl. 

Rei shook her head softly. 

"Then… if you are an Angel, then being an Angel is like being a human." 

Rei nodded in ascent, "Angels are human, in a way - from what I've learned at least."

Asuka looked again at the opposite wall. "Perhaps it's the other way around. Humans might just be Angels. So why do they attack us?" 

"They are the shadows of what _might_ have been." Rei said, cradling her now throbbing right arm. "They have no choice; they are simply intent given form." 

"Then, I take it you're not like them." Asuka muttered, looking back. 

"I am to fulfill my purpose. But I… cannot anymore." Rei looked at Asuka sadly, "If I die, then I can be replaced." 

"That's why you're not afraid of death, you can't die." Asuka said, realizing the truth. 

Rei looked at her, "But… those who cannot die, cannot truly live. I have died once, Asuka. I remember most everything of my life. But…" 

Asuka looked at the suddenly silent young girl, "But?" 

"There is no emotion there. Just raw memory - as though I had watched a recording of that life before. I could see doing things that were… Happy… Sad… exciting… but… there was no emotion with the memory. Nothing stronger than perhaps a memory of a taste, no feeling of excitement as I looked at something new for the first time, I was empty." 

Asuka nodded, "Some things are worse than death, I'd imagine. My… my mama… she…" 

"I was briefed, Pilot Sohryu." Rei said softly. "I… know." 

"The Commander?" Asuka asked, half angry at the fact that the First Child knew, half thankful that she didn't have to repeat the scenes for the First. "Why would he brief you on me?" 

Rei looked at her, her head remaining unmoving, but her eyes turning to face Asuka, "Commander Ikari had intent for me… but… I will not follow that intent." 

"I… I thought that Angels have no free will?" Asuka asked, "They simply do what God has instructed them to do? That's why you were… a doll." 

"I am not an Angel within this form. I am Rei Ayanami…" Rei said, looking into Asuka's eyes. "I am not a doll." 

"Then, Rei Ayanami…" Asuka paused for a moment. That distance that she had seen when she had first encountered the blue haired enigma was gone. In its place was a pleading look. An emptiness… So Asuka made a decision then, "Bygones. Clean slate. I'm Asuka Langley Sohryu." She slid her hand out, "A pleasure to meet you." 

Rei stared at the offered hand for a moment, "A…Ayanami. Rei Ayanami." She finally said. 

"You're supposed to shake my hand, silly," Asuka shoved her hand out further again. 

"I cannot…" Rei said, "My hand is bandaged." She held up that hand for demonstration purposes. 

Asuka burst out in laughter, "Better… First Child… Still weird, but better…" 

-

September 15th, 2015 -10:10pm

Night shift duty guard Private Kato Takahashi watched Section 13 Gate B with tired eyes. He had been at his post for thirteen hours. Normally he wouldn't have to guard this particular gate personally; he'd simply have to wait at the monitoring station down the hall. But this gate had been damaged when Unit 01 rampaged… not physically, but the energy feedback from damaged systems had caused gates three and five to get stuck in an open position. So now he had to guard this gate. 

Just as he was about to push the brim of his hat down and close his eyes for a few minutes, the guard heard an unusual noise from a darkened corridor. "W…Who's there?" He asked. 

He stared into the darkness, and suddenly a cold sweat crawled down his back. A pair of red eyes appeared from the darkness, almost instantly followed by the rest of the child. The red-eyed child approached the gate unerringly. "Ah… Miss Ayanami!!!" The guard suddenly stood at attention. The pilot was dressed in a school uniform, but was not carrying her usual bag. 

"Where is Shinji Ikari?" The child asked softly. 

"Um… Ikari's at the Quadrant two municipal hospital… But y…you should know that, ma'am!" The officer said, "Y…You were there." 

At that moment, another set of footsteps echoed down the hall. Just as before, the eyes became visible just a moment before the body came into view. The guard looked quickly between the two identical children. One dressed in a school uniform, and one dressed in a white plug suit. "M…Miss Ayanami?!?" The guard forgot all his training as another First Child came into view… then another… and another… 

The lead child looked at him for a moment. "Sleep," she said softly. 

The man's eyes rolled into his head, as the First Children's eyes glowed for an instant. Within moments, the guard had collapsed to the ground. Eight of the nine children gathered here made their way through the two open gates. The lead Child had remained, and watched the body of the guard curiously. 

Suddenly the guard rolled over and snored loudly. "Sleep," Rei III said, blinking twice at the guard, then turning away to follow her sisters.

--

Author's Notes:

There it is, Chapter 3. I should have some more soon. 

As for the glowing eyes - many people may be wondering why I chose such an obvious effect. I could say that I chose it because the eyes are the windows to the soul, and the AT Field is the Light of the Soul. So their eyes glowed because they were projecting their souls... (But the clones don't have souls right??? Hehe...) The truth is that their irises are extremely reflective to red light, so when the Reis projected their AT-Fields, their eyes reflected the soft orange-white field glow as pure red in their eyes. (we see reflected light that is not absorbed by the pigment. A plant is "green" because it absorbs all color spectra except green...) And because of the nature of their eyes, they will take any light with a Red component and reflect it brightly, much like a cat's eyes in the darkness. 

Special thanks to Alnilam Orionis, who kindly read through this, pointed out my many faults, and made some suggestions on how to improve the story. Nothing wakes a writer up to the fact that his/her story has problems like seeing several pages worth of red marks. I felt like I was in high school again. :D In any case, thank you, Alnilam, I really appreciate the help.

Thanks to everyone who has read this and reviewed, it means a lot to me :D Sorry about the wait, and I hope you enjoyed it so far. Please keep up the reviews.

Until next time, 

PitViper(pvalpha@yahoo.com)


	5. Chapter Four : A Generous Helping of Rei

How to Make a Human Being – Chapter 4  
--  
Author's Notes:   
  
Hi. Not much to say here – people say I say too much anyways. I'm just going to let everything unfold before your eyes.   
  
So enjoy chapter 4. That's an order. :D   
  
--  
  
Title: How to Make a Human Being  
Genre: Short Story  
Author: PitViper (pvalpha@yahoo.com)   
Created: 08/02/02  
Chapter1: 08/09/02  
Chapter2: 08/13/02  
Chapter3: 08/18/02 modified v2 - 08/19/02  
Chapter4: 09/22/02 continued – 12/03/02  
Synopsis: Many believe that the character of Rei Ayanami is bound in steel to her duty – She accepts nothing into her life that is not related to Eva or Angels. This is the story of how a few small changes can make a big difference.   
  
--  
  
**How to Make a Human Being: Chapter 4 – A Generous Helping of Rei   
**  
_September 15th, 2015 -11:42pm  
_  
Nothing seemed unusual in the hospital. People went around their chores as though the evening was like any other. They walked down corridors and visited patients. Nurses sat at intersection stations filing paperwork and keeping watch over the monitors of their charges. Orderlies delivered foods, medicines, drinks… as were prescribed by the doctors.   
  
Yes, everything was normal to the occupants of the hospital, as they went about their business and completely ignored the phalanx of nine First Children that had entered the facility.   
  
-  
  
Rei stared at the ceiling of the small room the major had appropriated for the children in the hospital. Her eyes were just about to close when they suddenly snapped open. The same thing happened with the Second Child in the other bed, only she had been asleep at the time.   
  
"Shinji…" They muttered in unison, and then looked at themselves, then looked at the major on the floor sleeping on a roll out mattress pad.   
  
Rei directed her gaze back at the Second, "It would be unwise for me to wake her from her slumber," She whispered to Asuka. "She is sleeping with her weapon."   
  
"I certainly don't want to wake her." Asuka muttered in an annoyed tone.   
  
"Then we are in agreement?"   
  
"Yes." Asuka said. "Let's go."   
  
-  
  
Had Shinji Ikari been awake in his room, the presence of nine Reis would have had a serious affect on him… at least as far as nose-bleeds were concerned. However in his current unconscious and inverted state, he couldn't see or hear anything. Next to Shinji, in a regular hospital bed, was the broken Fifteenth Ayanami clone. This Rei had ceased muttering the directives set so clearly in her mind, and was staring patiently at the ceiling. Every once in a while, her red eyes would glance over in Shinji's direction, and her form would shudder as she attempted to rise with her brutalized and broken body.  
  
A nurse peered in through the door's window. "Good god, someone should put that poor thing out of its misery…"   
  
"Which one?" A young male doctor asked. "The boy or the girl?" The doctor exhaled loudly, leaning up against the door frame. "I mean, the girl probably isn't going to make it... I mean think about the damage... her hands... her legs... Its amazing that she's still conscious. But she doesn't say anything... nothing at all, in our presence."  
  
The head nurse sighed, "What I don't understand is why she gets… upset when we try to move her away."   
  
"Nobody knows what these poor NERV pilots go through, they may have bonded to each other. God knows with what injuries they've sustained if they'll even survive to see the sun rise." The doctor said softly, "But I could understand it if she was attached to him in some way…" The doctor was interrupted by an involuntary yawn. "God, getting real sleepy…"   
  
The nurse nodded, her eyelids growing heavy. "It's been a long day. Should get some…" A yawn interrupted her speech. "We should get some sleep. Wont… wont…"   
  
The doctor caught her as she almost collapsed, then woke up in his arms. "Yeah, Sleep sounds real good right now…" He muttered.   
  
She shook her head wearily, then regained her balance and stood. "I can't ever remember being so tired…"   
  
"It's just been a long day…" The doctor confirmed as he turned and walked away.   
  
The nurse nodded slightly, and looked back over her shoulder… Then she frowned for a moment, and walked alongside the doctor. "My mind must be playing tricks on me…" She muttered loud enough for the doctor to hear.   
  
"Why's that?" The doctor asked.   
  
"I don't know… for a moment I thought I saw nine blue-haired girls… just like the one in the emergency ward." She yawned again.   
  
As the doctors walked out of sight, the door to Shinji's room softly clicked as someone from the inside locked the door… peering from the other side of the window, Rei III watched the direction that the doctor and nurse traveled down… then turned back into the room's darkness.   
  
-  
  
"Ayanami…" Asuka muttered.   
  
"Yes?"   
  
"What was… that?" Asuka asked, knowing that Rei understood what she was trying to comprehend. The flush, the feeling of 'otherness' that she experienced. Something was happening with Shinji... something powerful. Something dangerous.  
  
"They are there. With Shinji..."   
  
"They?"   
  
"The Dummy System." Rei said softly. "My sisters."   
  
"What… what are they doing there?" Asuka muttered, having heard only part of the story from Rei, having listened as the young First Child explained NERV's most best kept secret with nary a flinch of hesitation or resistance. "I thought that they needed your soul to… you know… live."   
  
"I may have given them purpose enough to live without my particular soul." Rei looked at the hallway before her, fingering her NERV card, knowing that it would open doors sealed to everyone else...  
  
"That can't be a good thing…"   
  
"We will see. " Rei said, leading them down the maze like corridors to Shinji's room.   
  
-  
  
Gendo Ikari peered into the darkness of his cell. He was seated, with a small folding table in front of him, hands in his infamous position. His right eye was blackened, and his right lens shattered in a spider web pattern.   
  
Suddenly, light filled the room, and pierced the cloying darkness of Gendo Ikari's new dominion.   
  
Gendo winced at the light for a moment, before adjusting to the bright light silhouetting the figure. It took him only mere moments to identify the figure standing there. "Rei, you have come at last."   
  
"Rei?" The figure chuckled girlishly. "I think you've mistaken me for someone else, dear."   
  
Gendo's face fell as he saw his visitor more clearly.   
  
"My daughter, you selfish bastard." The woman said, her hand reaching out to flick on a light. "In my anger at what you had done to her… I almost killed our son!" The woman marched up to the desk and struck it with vicious might. The folding table clattered out of the way, then broke against the wall it hit.   
  
Her dark brown hair cascaded before her dark blue eyes, as Gendo watched the LCL drenched figure standing over him menacingly in complete and utter shock.   
  
"Yui…" he muttered once, before the door on the cell swept closed.   
  
-  
  
The nine Ayanami clones stood in the Sephirothic pattern. Shinji was at the head of the pattern, while Rei III stood behind him directly. The other eight clones closed their eyes, as Rei three walked up to the exposed back of the Third Child. She traced a finger down the surgical scar below his hair line… down the center of his back, feeling the odd texture of his spine where the doctors had tried to heal shattered bone.   
  
The third began, and closed her eyes for a second. "To the One we are life." The clones behind her repeated what the Third had said. "To the One, we are light."   
  
The orange glow of an AT Field filled the room.   
  
Rei III concentrated the glow at her fingertip and once again traced the line of Shinji scar.   
  
The wound opened, revealing the damaged spine, as muscle was pushed away from the damage by the Light of the Soul. The AT Field exposed the damaged vertebra to the open air.   
  
Rei III glanced at her wrist. A quick draw of her AT ensconced finger down her wrist, and a smooth trickle of yellow blood appeared.   
  
The Reis all spoke together. "Blood of the Mother, Blood of Life, fulfill our duty… Restore the One known as Shinji…"   
  
-  
  
Rei paused for a moment in the corridor, and then collapsed to her knees.   
  
Asuka stopped and looked strangely at Rei, who was clutching her bandaged wrist. "Ayanami?"   
  
Rei's blood red eyes looked up, "I am injured…"   
  
As Asuka watched, red blood began to flow down Rei's hand…  
  
-  
  
The cell door opened, revealing a blood spattered Yui Ikari. She glanced backwards at the cell, and at its occupant. "Thank you for taking my place…"   
  
Within was a brutalized Gendo Ikari, blood flowed from a thousand cuts, but he was not dead. Rather his eyes were empty – the soul of Gendo Ikari no longer existed within this empty shell.   
  
As the door slid closed, Yui Ikari sighed lightly. "A demon for a demon. I just hope he remembers that he will never be with me until he has served his penance for what he has done to our children."  
  
-  
  
Within the Eva cages, a dim light suffused the eyes of Unit 01 for the briefest of moments, and then vanished without a trace…   
  
-   
  
Rei III held her wrist as she manipulated the light of her soul to seal the wound upon Shinji's back. She had used the Light to shape the LCL into spinal tissue, bone, and human blood, so that Shinji would be whole again.   
  
As she looked over to the other occupant of the other bed, Rei III muttered softly, "Fifteenth."   
  
The other Rei tilted her head as far as the restraints would allow. "Third." She said softly, with painful effort.   
  
Rei III walked up to the tenth of her siblings… "Will you?" She asked.   
  
"For the One," The tenth clone replied blandly, dressed in a black swimsuit. She walked over to the Fifteenth, and laid her hand upon the chest of the other.   
  
-   
  
Rei and Asuka got to the door just in time to see a bright yellow light. Asuka's eyes widened. "Rei?"   
  
Rei was at a loss, still holding her hand, the splint removed so that the wound could be treated, the hand bandaged with supplies from a small storage closet. "One of the fifteen has fallen." She said cryptically.   
  
Asuka tried the handle. "Locked?" She asked, surprised, and then narrowed her eyes, "Well, then…" She muttered, and a roundhouse kick was sent flying at the door handle.   
  
Rei watched with fascination as the door splintered where the handle was, and flew inwards.   
  
Asuka rushed in, instinctively throwing the light switch in the room to on, ignoring the eight standing Rei clones, and rushed up to the young boy in the bed, "Shinji!" She screamed.   
  
"Wha…" Came an incoherent mutter from the inverted bed.   
  
Asuka looked at the exposed flesh of his back. 'Odd…' she thought, 'they performed surgery on his back, where is the scar?' She traced a small white line down his back with her finger tip…   
  
"Tickles!" Came a giggling exclamation from under the bed. Asuka drew back her hand as though scalded… "Shinji?"   
  
"Who wants to know?" Asked the boy. "And why am I looking at a checker-tiled ceiling?"   
  
Asuka blinked once, then blinked again, realizing that he was inverted, "That's the floor, not the ceiling, dumbkopf." Asuka could have sworn that she could hear him blinking under the bed.   
  
"Oh." Came the usual reply.   
  
"You had us scared there for a moment…" Asuka said.   
  
"Who's us?" The boy asked almost flippantly. Asuka practically growled.  
  
"What do you mean, 'Who's us?'" Asuka asked, getting over to the part of the bed where his head was, and ducking underneath.   
  
Shinji's bright blue eyes surveyed her face, and her red plug suit, "Um… Miss? I assume you're a little young to be a nurse.   
  
Asuka's bright blue eyes widened in shock, "You blathering idiot, you know who I am! I'm the Second Child!"   
  
"Well… nice to meet you… I guess… I'm… I'm Shinji Ikari."   
  
"I know that!" Asuka said forcefully. "We're apartment-mates, remember?"   
  
Shinji's brow furrowed for a moment. "M…Misato?"   
  
"Yeah. We live with Misato…"   
  
Shinji struggled for a moment, his eyes closed… Then suddenly they snapped wide open. "Rei!" Shinji exclaimed. "The Fifth angel… she… she was in the Entry Plug. Where's Rei… Is she alright?"   
  
Asuka's eyes widened again, as she realized that he had called Rei's name, and precious little else. Her thoughts turned acrid, 'He remembers her, not me…'   
  
Rei came over and bent under the bed and looked at Shinji. "Ikari. I am fine. But… The… incident with the Fifth was months ago…"   
  
"But I remember it… it was just… yesterday!"   
  
Rei blinked several times. "It must have been the concussion…" Rei muttered for Asuka's benefit - who was speechless at Shinji's apparent lack of recognition. The blue haired girl continued to calm Shinji down, "Everything will be alright. I am well and uninjured…"   
  
Shinji's panicked face became calmer, "O…Ok, Ayanami."  
  
Asuka finally muttered a few words, "Don't you recognize me, Shinji?"   
  
Shinji stared for several moments, his brow furrowing again. "S…Sorry. Your face doesn't ring a bell."   
  
'I'm sorry, your face doesn't ring a bell' The words echoed in her freshly emptied mind. After all, who was she if people didn't recognize her? Especially if that person was someone she had spent the last few months getting acquainted with, living in the same apartment... synchronization training...Asuka's spirits collapsed, but then Shinji said something else.   
  
"But it is the most beautiful face I've ever seen… Miss?"   
  
Asuka blinked several times. "Sohryu. Asuka Langley…"   
  
Shinji smiled slightly. "Well, it is very nice to have met you, Sohryu, Asuka Langley. But I think I should get some rest…" Shinji said, his eyes falling closed, "My head hurts…"   
  
Asuka got up from under the bed, and from under the now sound-asleep Third Child, "Rei…" She said, and was suddenly impaled with stares from ten pairs of red eyes. Asuka blinked several times, as she spotted the Rei with a bandage on her wrist. She was standing next to the clone in the bed. "Rei… what is…" She was walking forward when she stepped in something. "Ewww… what's this orange…gooey stuff…." She was just a few steps from the bed. She noticed that the orange goop was also on the side of the bed, and on the bed sheets…   
  
"That, Sohryu, was the Tenth…" Rei said softly, and sadly.   
  
"The 'Tenth' what?"   
  
"The Tenth Rei." Rei III said, before turning to the exit. The seven other standing clones followed their leader blindly as they made their way from the room.   
  
Rei held the hand of the clone in the bed for a moment. Her eyes closed. Suddenly they flashed opened, "I cannot synchronize with her…"   
  
"What do you mean?" Asuka asked, not having moved from the puddle of orange remains she was standing in.  
  
Rei closed her eyes, then opened them again. "I see." She muttered, "And I understand."   
  
"What is it?" Asuka said, finally realizing that she was standing in clone remains. She carefully stepped away from the puddle, trying not to disturb it too much.   
  
"The tenth gave her existence to heal the Fifteenth. The fifteenth now has a soul…" Rei looked up. "She is no longer an empty shell."   
  
The red eyes of the other Rei opened. "Hello, Mother." She said softly. Rei blinked once in response.   
  
Asuka stared wide eyed, "Mother?"   
  
"I don't know…"   
  
"Of course you do. The second shell contains the spirit of the Mother." The fifteenth said, "Do you not remember?"  
  
"No."   
  
"Then do not concern yourself with it, Mother. You are who you are and I am I. That is what is important… and that the One is safe. We will protect the One."   
  
"Who is the One?" Asuka asked.  
  
Both Rei and Asuka watched as the Fifteenth held up a shaky hand and pointed towards Shinji. "He is the One."   
  
  
  
  
  
--  
Author's Notes:  
Well, there you have it. The next installment in the How to Make a Human Being series. It took me long enough to write it, I just hope that everyone enjoys it. :)   
  
As always, if you liked it, please review.   
  
Until next time,   
PitViper  



	6. Chapter Five : Stir Gently, A Mother's T...

**How to Make a Human Being – Chapter 5  
**--  
Author's Notes:   
  
Sorry about the time between chapters. I'm really trying, honest :D I'm going with minimal notes, so as not to overload the reader.   
  
So enjoy chapter five… Please :D   
  
--  
  
Title: **How to Make a Human Being**  
Genre: Short Story  
Author: PitViper (pvalpha@yahoo.com)   
Created: 08/02/02  
Chapter1: 08/09/02  
Chapter2: 08/13/02  
Chapter3: 08/18/02 modified v2 - 08/19/02  
Chapter4: 09/22/02 continued – 12/03/02  
Chapter5: 12/28/02  
Synopsis: Many believe that the character of Rei Ayanami is bound in steel to her duty – She accepts nothing into her life that is not related to Eva or Angels. This is the story of how a few small changes can make a big difference.   
  
--  
  
**How to Make a Human Being: Stir gently/A Mother's Touch  
**  
_Stir Gently: August 24th, 2030 - 6:11am._  
  
"_Always make sure that you stir it in gently, dear Rei..._" The words echoed in the blue-haired woman's mind as she prepared to make breakfast. She was currently stirring in some freshly chopped spices and onions with the eggs she was making for her guests. "_It makes a difference. Some things, like a good breakfast, require a certain care. Sometimes you have to do it vigorously, sometimes slowly… but always with care. Like raising a child, food requires care, love, gentleness, and strength - when necessary - to make it turn out right…_" Rei remembered her instruction carefully, as she prepared the breakfast.   
  
Life was a part of cooking, as cooking was a part of life. Learning to cook well was one of those things taught to her as a part of her purpose. Living well and eating well went together. That the essentials of life were never taught to her when she was younger was a reflection of who raised her, and what her original purpose was intended to be.  
  
Suddenly a weight appeared on her shoulder, next to her ear. "It smells just like mom's," The male voice was soon accompanied by a warm squeeze as his arms enfolded her.   
  
She allowed herself to become lost in the embrace, "And what would happen if Asuka were to see us together like this, right now?"  
  
The arms released her, much to her dismay, but the pressure of the chin upon her shoulder still existed. "What could she say, sis? Can't I give my little sister a hug?"  
  
A flush of warmth flowed over Ayanami's cheeks as she felt his lips breathe over her skin. 'Oh the temptation…' Rei thought, then disregarded it. What she thought for that moment, as the blush crept across her neck and down her chest, was so wrong… at least in her vision of things.   
  
"I know what you want, sis." Shinji lifted his head, and turned her around to face him. "I can see it in your eyes."   
  
Rei looked at her hands, and then allowed one of them to reach up to his shoulder… his strong shoulder. Then she brought her hand down his chest, and paused over his heart. Her hand remained there, feeling the steady beat, the pulse of his life under her sensitive fingers. 'What I want…' She mused silently, wishing – hoping that somehow things could be different.   
  
"You want to be hugged," And Shinji did so, feeling her lean into it, greedily accepting the action. Then he pulled back, her hand still on his chest. "Why don't you go out? You are the most beautiful woman in Tokyo 3, barring my wife, of course. There's someone out there for you, I know there is." Shinji took her hand into his own, and watched as she stubbornly avoided his gaze. He began to become concerned, "Rei, what's the matter?"   
  
'Don't you know, can't you see it?' She thought, as she continued to avoid his gaze. 'I've just thought about you, brother, in the way that Asuka thinks of you!' She resisted the strength of his hand as he attempted to pull her face to meet his gaze. A tear found its way out from the side of her eye, just as she surrendered to his will. 'So like the Commander… yet he asks nothing of me, except for me to be me…'   
  
Shinji watched as a single tear fell down her face. Finally, she relented, and allowed him to turn her to face him. "Rei?"   
  
"I am impure. I have… had… thoughts…" She said, her lips trembling… "A…about you, brother. I am a horrible creature." She said, and then tore her gaze from his, afraid to find the rejection that she knew would be there.   
  
A question filled the air, "Would you act upon those thoughts, Rei?"   
  
"N… no." She said haltingly. "But I…"   
  
"Rei, your thoughts are no sin to me. We aren't even related like that!" Shinji said - pulling her into a hug as her tears began to flow freely. "If I weren't so in love with the woman upstairs in the bed…"   
  
"I'm a monster…" Rei said, having ignored Shinji's words. "I _chose_ to call you brother…"   
  
"Rei," He said, forcing her face towards his gently. He waited for her eyes to move to his own. "Rei, there was a time that I thought of you like that… Listen to me carefully, you aren't a monster…"   
  
Rei's eyes glistened with tears, as she saw the warm hearted person before her lovingly caress away a tear with his thumb. She sniffled a bit, waiting for his revelation on exactly what she was.   
  
"You're a human being. You are a person that I love with all my heart."  
  
Rei looked at him, too shocked to express in words or in actions her feelings about this revelation. Her vision was blurred by the tears that had unwillingly come to the surface, but she could still see well enough to make out Shinji's eyes. 'The eyes, the windows to the soul. They speak truth when the body tells lies – they speak of what is within, not what is expressed without.' She thought, then her heart seemingly jumped as she saw what she was looking for. 'Truth!' his eyes revealed to her.   
  
Shinji sighed, as he watched her stare at him in that 'oh so Rei' way. But that normal stare was marred by the tears threatening her deep crimson eyes. "Come on, we have to finish breakfast. You wouldn't want this beautiful omelet to go to waste, now?"   
  
She shook her head in affirmation, then wiped the back of her hand across her eyes, making a few tear drops fall from between the clenched lids. 'Human… Am I human? I must be, for his eyes spoke truth…' Rei thought as she turned back to her duty, fingers wiping away the remains of her tears. How long had it taken for her to reach this point in her existence? She looked at the egg, and the remaining spices. 'Perhaps life was a little like cooking…' she thought as she remembered one of her first instructions in the culinary arts: "_Stir gently…_"   
  
--  
  
_A Mother's Touch: September 16th, 2015 - 12:13am_  
  
Misato lurched into a sitting position as the children entered the room. Her disheveled appearance and wild hair notifying the children that their stealthy departure had been successful, but their return was less than adequate. Her nervous gaze slapped back and forth between the two until finally a disgusted and angry stare impaled the First Child. "Where were you?"   
  
'Where were you?' The words dripped with venom. Utter, unbridled hatred for the blue haired girl was evident in every intonation that Misato had spoken. Fortunately, before Rei could even formulate answer, Asuka interrupted. "She caught her arm on an unprotected screw on the bed railing. We went to get some bandages."   
  
While Rei made no motion to show the major her arm, the new bandage was clearly present on her wrist. "I… see…" Misato said in a tone of surrender, believing Asuka's words as truth. Then the woman realized just how she had spoken, and muttered what was – in her own eyes – a sort of justification for her harshness, "It's just… I can't change overnight."   
  
Rei looked at the Major sadly, although her expression would probably not have been noticeable to any stranger as being associated with sadness. "I understand," She said softly, then moved back to her bed.   
  
Rei realized that Asuka's deception would last only so long as the Major didn't inspect the area around her bed for blood. As she settled on the mattress, she decided that she would have to soil the sheets. She moved the bandage back slightly revealing part of the healing wound. She briefly considered using her AT Field to open it – quick and efficient. But the energy and the light generated by her soul might alert the Major to what she was doing. Wincing, she opened a small section of the wound again with her fingernail and fresh blood dripped on the bed sheets near the raising metal railing. After a small amount of blood stained the sheets and the metal, she slipped the bandage back over the newly opened flesh. 'It will heal.' She told herself, the scar had already closed from her earlier experience. Within a day at the most, there would be no trace of it - especially if she were immersed in LCL.   
  
As Asuka climbed into bed, she looked over at Rei's hospital bunk. She looked at the floor by the top edge of the metal railing. There were a few drops of a dark substance on the floor. She involuntarily winced. 'She reopened the wound to make it look like she was injured here.' Misato was already re-composing herself for sleep, so was not looking at the bed when Rei got back into it. 'I must admire her resolve… I don't think I could have done that without whimpering at least once.' She thought.   
  
Rei blinked a few times at the stained sheets. 'Red. The color of blood. The color I hate.' She closed her eyes. Perhaps now that Shinji was at least partially healed, her troubled and tormented mind would allow her some measure of rest…  
  
-  
  
_September 16th, 2015 - 5:52am_  
  
The receptionist watched the elevator doors very carefully as the bell announced the arrival of a car. 'Too many strange things happening tonight…' the young nurse noted mentally. As the doors spread apart, the woman sighed in partial relief. A woman wearing a doctor's lab coat, a dress shirt and slacks came forward. Her rather normal brown hair caught the overhead light, as gentle green eyes looked around the room finally locking on the young woman.   
  
The doctor approached the desk, her badge on her shirt, partially hidden by the smock, but the Photo ID clearly identifying the individual. She gave a wan smile, then said, "Can you please direct me to Shinji Ikari's room?"   
  
"Yes… Doctor?" The nurse stumbled for a moment, trying to get a name from the partially obscured tag… "What reason do you have to see the patient?"   
  
"Oh," The woman said, pulling aside the smock to reveal her Gehrin ID pass. She struck a slightly askew smirk: "I'm sorry; I'm not a Medical Doctor… I'm his mother. Yui Ikari."   
  
The woman looked at the tag, and the face. "Oh… you're his mother? But a Major Katsuragi is listed as his only guardian…" The nurse turned to her terminal, "We're under orders not to admit anyone but his physicians and her into the room."   
  
Yui stared at the lady, "But I'm his MOTHER." She insisted.   
  
"I'm sorry, ma'am. But you need a NERV security clearance to enter…"   
  
"Yui…" Said an astonished voice from the direction of the Elevator.   
  
Yui stiffened in recognition. 'Was he there to take her away?' "Kozo?" She turned slowly to face her old mentor. She saw the tears in his eyes, the lines on his face. "You've aged…"   
  
"You…" He choked, "You haven't…" He stepped forward towards the woman… "God in heaven, defend us all… If it is really you Yui…"   
  
The nurse looked at the old man, "I'm sorry, if someone here doesn't show some ID, I'm going to call security."   
  
Kozo Fuyutsuki stepped past Yui and showed his NERV id to the young nurse, who immediately blanched. "I trust that handles the ID part…"   
  
"Certainly, Sub Commander." She gulped.  
  
"Kozo…"   
  
"Oh Yui… How?" Tears were forming in the elder teacher's eyes. They were tears of joy, tears of fear, and tears of a mind outside its station and its bounds.  
  
"You know how." Yui said, looking away.   
  
"One of them." Kozo said.   
  
Yui stiffened, then nodded. "I have to see him, Sensei. Just once…"   
  
Kozo smiled at his former student, "I knew it was you; there was no one else it could be. But without you, our golem is…"   
  
"It has a soul, Sensei." Yui practically spat. "He volunteered, after some… persuasion." She looked away for a moment, and the anger present in Yui's eyes when she turned back made Kozo flinch. "That he would do _that_ to our son… to _my_ son…" She looked away, as though suppressing the rage she felt within to scream and pronounce her particular hatred to the entire world.   
  
Kozo looked nervously at the nurse, who was trying diligently not to pay attention. "This isn't the place for that particular conversation." He put his hand on her shoulder, and felt her wince. "Come, Yui-chan. Let's go see your boy…"   
  
Yui's eyes snapped up. "Sensei?" The eyes no longer contained any anger. Her son was mentioned. He was her shining light. Her _reason_ for life…  
  
He nodded. "You didn't think I was going to arrest you, did you?"   
  
"I don't know what to think." She said sadly.   
  
"That makes two of us…" The Sub-Commander admitted as he released her shoulder. They both walked down the hall to Shinji's room.   
  
-  
  
_September 16th, 2015 - 6:21am  
_  
Major Katsuragi yawned, and quietly began moving in the pre-dawn light currently illuminating the city. After a couple testing stretches, she glanced over at Ayanami's current bed. 'Did she really cut herself?' The major wondered. Walking silently over to the bed, she confirmed that there was indeed dried blood on the sheets and on the side of the railing. She watched as the girls face twitched a few times, almost as though a sniffle were building. In response, a tiny balled fist came up to the girl's face, and the hand absently rubbed her nose. The major had to stifle a giggle. 'She really is a little girl!'   
  
As the major walked away, Rei's eyes flew opened. 'The deception has satisfied her… for now.' She thought. After all, Rei had been awake since 5am; she always was alert by that time of the morning. Slowly closing her eyes, 'I wonder what it is like to actually sleep later?' The thought danced around her mind as she waited for the Major to complete her morning toilet…   
  
In her bed, Asuka was occupied with a peculiar nightmare.   
  
-  
  
In her dreams, Unit 01 began to attack her Unit 02.   
  
"Shinji, stop, please!" She screamed, feeling the pounding of Unit 01's fists against her AT Field.   
  
"Who are you?" The boy asked; strangely clear over the comm. line.   
  
"I'm Asuka!" She screamed. Desperately trying to fight back and defend herself against the Third Child's mecha. "You know me, we're friends!"   
  
The boy's face appeared before her in a channel. Strangely he was dressed in his school uniform, floating in the LCL. "Asuka?" The boy muttered. "I don't know any Asuka."   
  
"Shinji! It's me! Asuka! The one who…" Asuka stopped herself.   
  
Unit 01's pounding ceased as the Third Child awaited Asuka's revelation. "The one who?"   
  
Asuka's eyes widened. 'Yes, that's the answer. I'll just tell him…'   
  
"I think I remember an Asuka now." Shinji said thoughtfully, almost as though he was reclining in a sofa at home. "Yes, she's a beautiful girl. But…" Asuka felt her stomach lurch into her throat, as bile forced its way up into her mouth. "But that beauty is only skin deep. She hates me." Asuka felt as if she had been hit by a massive hand. "She despises me, and calls me names." Another slap. "She never gives me anything but pain." She felt as though she were bleeding from a thousand wounds. "She berates my friends, and treats Rei like a doll." Shinji's eyes narrowed through the display. "Asuka Langley Sohryu," The boy muttered with a hint of anger, "What am I to you?"   
  
Asuka's lip trembled, "I…"   
  
"Yes?" The boy asked patiently.   
  
"I… love…"   
  
Shinji just waited with a passive expression.   
  
"I love you, Shinji…"   
  
Shinji remained quiet for a few moments. "Maybe you do…" Suddenly Unit 01 moved to walk away. Surprisingly, Asuka noted, it didn't have a power cord attached to it.   
  
Asuka tried to follow, reaching out but always missing the elusive mecha. Finally she felt a tug at her back… and her cord would go no further. But Unit 01 kept on walking. "Shinji!" She screamed in her dream.   
  
"Shinji! Please, don't go…" Desperation laced every intonation.   
  
She tried to eject her power cord, but it didn't respond. She had no weapons to cut it with. And all her strength could not tear the cord loose from its moorings. "SHINJI!"   
  
Unit 01 paused a distance away, its hulking form glistening various shades of purple and red as it stood in the full bloom of the setting sun. "Goodbye, Asuka."   
  
"WHY!" Asuka screamed as Unit 01 turned to move away.   
  
"Because, you never told me - I was never important enough to you for you to tell me. Now it's too late…" Shinji replied sadly, then continued to walk.   
  
"Shinji! Please, come back! Don't leave me! Don't go away!" She screamed. Finally a soft whisper, "Please, don't leave me alone…"   
  
A final few words came back through the haze of the fading dream. "I'm not leaving you… you were never with me… You were always alone… by your own choice." A pause before the darkness, and a final echo, "Always alone…"   
  
-   
  
Asuka awoke to the feeling of her mattress listing to one side. She looked over, and noticed that the First Child had decided to sit on her bed. Rei's red eyes were staring down at her, with an almost compassionate look. "Rei?" Asuka asked hesitantly.   
  
"You cried out in your sleep, Sohryu-san."   
  
"I… I didn't mean to wake you." Asuka stuttered, still partially immobilized with the dream's lingering effects.   
  
"I was already awake." Rei admitted. Rei noted that the Second Child was actually, tolerable… when she was first awakening. Still, she decided to inform her temporary roommate about the current situation. "The major is preparing herself for the day."   
  
Asuka cringed, expecting to hear the shout of "Yebisu Joy" from the major, then quirked one eye open, then the other. 'We're in a hospital; she can't drink in a hospital.' Just as she was about to calmly get up…  
  
"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Echoed through the room, and the sound of the water being forcefully shut off echoed through the pipes in the ceiling.   
  
Asuka stiffened, wanting the offending noise to go away. Rei simply stared passively at the young girl.   
  
The explanation soon came from the closed bathroom door, "Didn't this place ever hear of HOT WATER!"   
  
Rei and Asuka shared a glance. The infirmary baths required that the hot water temperature be set before the shower was turned on...   
  
Rei got up off the bed and walked to the door. "Major, you have to set the temperature before you turn on the shower." She said loudly enough to be heard through the door.   
  
"Oh…" Was the thoughtful reply the major made, having practically broken the control to cut off the flow of icy water to the shower nozzle. "Sorry!" She apologized through the door.  
  
Rei glanced back to see Asuka curled into a fetal position, her eyes glancing back at the room's exit every once in a while. She walked up to the young woman. "Pilot Soryu?"   
  
Asuka turned away from her, curling into a tighter ball. Rei moved to the other side of the bed, but Asuka simply rolled over in the other direction. Rei clasped her arm at the elbow… "Pilot Soryu?"   
  
"What!" Was the angry reply from the fiery red-head.   
  
"Do you…" Rei's question was quickly interrupted.   
  
"No."   
  
Rei remained quiet for a few moments, before turning away. Rei could hear the rustle of sheets and knew that Asuka was watching her. Rei made her way to her shoes… And paused before retrieving them, "If you never tell him, he'll never know…" Rei heard a sharp inhalation, and then the rustle of sheets again.   
  
When she turned to go back to her bed, she noticed that the Second Child had curled up into a fetal position once more, and was studiously watching the bathroom door.   
  
-  
  
Misato's heart skipped a beat as she saw a Section Two team carrying a bucket and cleaning products out of Shinji's room. They said nothing as they passed her, and Misato was almost too shocked to respond.   
  
Rei and Asuka both eyed the team, and watched them as they carried a small bucket of 'something' towards the elevator. Asuka, who had been avoiding Rei's eyes since the bedroom, now glanced quickly in the blue-haired girl's direction. All she was able to see was the top of Ayanami's down-turned head as the girl watched the ground.   
  
Asuka stared at the pilot for a few minutes. It was the first time she'd seen her in anything other than her school uniform. Misato had insisted that Rei not wear her plug-suit around for a second day, and had gathered a change of clothing for her from a generous resident nurse. With the pale blue turtleneck and washed-out blue jeans, she could pass for a normal person…   
  
A beautiful normal girl with exotic blue hair and red eyes.   
  
Asuka noted the pale yellow turtleneck loaned to her by the same generous nurse. It went well with her, but the jeans were a bit tight… While Rei's jeans seemed almost baggy on the fourteen year-old. Still though, if one were to look at them in the hallway, they would think "Fire and Ice…" Asuka's fire-red hair, and Rei's ice blue hair… an amazing contrast.   
  
Still though, Asuka had to shake her head to clear out the images of people judging them based on their appearance. That wasn't what this was about. The clothes were there because someone had lent them to the children. Asuka was glad that the fashion-sense of the nurse at least included a few articles of clothing that met with her approval. Besides, Asuka Langley Sohryu would look good in _ anything_.   
  
Rei was blissfully unaware of the Second Child's concerns. She knew _what_ the Section Two personnel were removing from Shinji's room… the remains of the Tenth clone. A quick glance from under her hair allowed her to catch Asuka staring at her. 'She knows, but I would suspect that she would concentrate on something else. Perhaps something mundane to wash the memory of the Tenth's remains from her mind…' Rei looked at herself, and thought approvingly – 'At least the nurse didn't try to make me wear red.'   
  
Misato watched as the elevator doors closed on the Section Two agents… "What the hell?" She muttered to herself, pulling open her uniform jacket and exposing her weapon for easy retrieval. She began to walk to the room when the nurse at the station spoke up.   
  
"Major Katsuragi," The nurse intoned. The purple-haired woman spun to face her. "Ms. Ayanami and Mr. Ikari already have… visitors."   
  
"Who?" The major asked, hand hovering near her weapon.   
  
"Sub Commander Fuyutsuki, and a…another woman," the nurse stuttered, "I don't know her name. The duty nurse changed shift at six, and she didn't tell me who the second visitor was. But they've been in there for a little while now."   
  
'Probably Ritsuko…' Misato mentally confirmed, relaxing slightly. "Why were those men in there?"   
  
"I don't know. The Sub-Commander said that they were to be admitted to the room when they arrived."  
  
The major nodded curtly. It was unusual for a section two team to be doing cleanup – unless they were disposing of _somebody_. 'Perhaps the other clone had passed on during the night.' Misato absently thought. After all, it was heavily damaged, and probably didn't have the will to continue to live on its own anyways. She walked to the doors, and knocked gently, knowing that the Sub-Commander was within.   
  
"Enter Major." Came Fuyutuski's response. Misato steeled herself for the sight of Shinji's crippled form as she opened the handle… Unfortunately for the Major, that was not the sight that greeted her.   
  
Major Katsuragi's jaw dropped at the sight before her. Shinji was standing, hugging a woman who was eagerly returning that hug. Misato could hear sobs wracking his form, and wanted nothing more than to run up and hug him… but something inside told her that these weren't sobs of sadness… they were tears of joy. Next to him was the blue-haired Fifteenth clone, fully healed. "Shinji?" Misato whispered.   
  
The brown haired woman looked up, her eyes meeting Misato's, "Major Katsuragi…" The soft voice was very much like an elder Rei's.   
  
Shinji broke away from his death-grip hug. "M…Misato-san!" Shinji had a genuine smile on his tear streaked face. "This… This… Is…" He looked back up at the woman he was hugging, as if to confirm that she was there. In response, she stroked his hair, "Misato-san… this is my mother!"   
  
"Major Misato Katsuragi, meet Doctor Yui Ikari…" Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki said formally from the shadows of the room. "She was head of the Evangelion development project…" He said, looking sadly at her, "And, God willing, will be able to help us defeat the Angels."   
  
Misato blinked in surprise, stepping forward haltingly. "Bu…But…"   
  
Once Misato was clear of the door, the First and Second Children entered the room. The stared at the sight of a standing Shinji and Fifteenth Rei… and the brown haired woman who looked a lot like the two fourteen year olds.   
  
Just as Yui was about to speak to Misato, she caught sight of the children. Her eyes focused on the Second… "Asuka?" She asked haltingly. "Little Asuka?"   
  
The girl backed off slightly… "Who are you?"   
  
The woman laughed a little. "Oh, dear Asuka… you don't remember me, you were so little when Kyoko showed you to me…"   
  
Asuka shook her head. "I don't know you… But you look like Rei."   
  
"In a sense I'm Rei's mother… But Shinji is the issue of my flesh…"   
  
"You're Shinji's mother?" Asuka asked astonished.   
  
Yui nodded, ignoring the speechless Misato, walking towards the child. "You met Shinji once, long ago. When I visited Geherin Germany to supervise the initial generation of the Production Model Evangelion. Your mother and I were good friends."   
  
"No…" Asuka backed away.   
  
"What's wrong, little one?" Yui asked of the frightened child.   
  
"She lost her mother… in an accident." Misato said softly, having regained some of her composure.   
  
Yui glanced at Kozo, who turned away. "I see…"   
  
"It wasn't an accident." Asuka said vehemently. "She was insane."   
  
Yui blinked. Looking back at Kozo, "Like 01?"   
  
"Like 01… except there was something left." Kozo said quietly, then took up the pastime of staring at the cityscape outside the window.   
  
"I'm sorry, little one." Yui said sympathetically.   
  
"Don't call me 'little one'." Asuka spat. "I'm _not_ little."   
  
Yui nodded once. "Still… You mother was a very good woman… when I knew her. She loved you with all her heart. She must have been… very sick at the end… in order to leave you like that. She would have never willingly done so when I knew her." Yui told the young German girl. "She loved you beyond imagination…"   
  
"Maybe… but I'm my own woman now." Asuka said softly. Looking up at Shinji, then looking away.   
  
"How… How is Shinji… How is he walking?" Misato asked, knowing the severity of his injury.   
  
"A miracle… I guess." Yui said, looking back at both the Fifteenth Rei and Shinji. "Major Katsuragi… I understand that you volunteered to take care of Shinji…"   
  
Misato blushed, then nodded. "I guess I did…"   
  
"Thank you… I'm sure that you have many questions…" She said to the woman. "Rest assured that I do as well. I've missed the last ten years of my son's life. I have much to make up for."   
  
Rei stayed silent, slightly behind Misato and out of Yui's direct view.   
  
Yui's gaze directed beside Misato. "Hello Rei."   
  
"Hello." Rei replied haltingly. "Ma'am."  
  
"So you're the pilot of Unit 00. I'm surprised that my husband was able to get that hunk of junk to work."   
  
"The fundamental engineering of the Prototype was reworked based on the Test Type's responses to its initial activation… it was determined what was missing, and that was quickly provided for." Rei responded mechanically.   
  
"So you understand the Unit's source?" Yui asked, softly.   
  
"I understand its purpose. And I understand my own. The Commander was clear on those two things. I am I. And Eva is all I am to be for. I am replaceable in my role as pilot of Unit 00."   
  
"Rei…" Yui said, her emotions coming through. "The Commander's scenario is no more."  
  
"Then I am nothing." Rei said very softly. Looking into Shinji's eyes. "There is nothing here for me now." She watched as Shinji's eyes went wide. "Goodbye." She said softly, turning to leave.   
  
"Rei!" Yui shouted, as Misato turned to watch.   
  
Rei stopped. "Yes, Doctor Ikari?" Her soft voice was devoid of emotion as she continued to face towards the door.   
  
"Rei… if you choose, I have…" Yui glanced at the Major then returned her attention to Rei… "Have another purpose for you."   
  
Rei turned to face the regenerated doctor. "A purpose?"   
  
"Yes. I want you to live… for our family… You are my daughter."   
  
Rei looked at Shinji who blushed, Asuka who was studying the patterns on the floor, and Misato who was still staring at Shinji… "I don't know what a family is." Rei admitted. "My purpose was Eva..."   
  
"Family is the reason you fight in Eva, Rei. To protect your family. It's why Shinji fights, why Asuka fights…" Asuka ignored the application of reason to her piloting. "And why we battle the angels. Because we are protecting our family. All of humanity."   
  
"But I am not entirely human."   
  
"Things change." Yui said softly, looking into her red eyes. "What do you say?"   
  
"Without purpose I am nothing. I have no link to the world. To others. I am an empty shell… Perhaps… perhaps this purpose… is something better for me than Eva. It may be…" She looked up. "I might… like this purpose."   
  
Yui walked up to Rei, and enfolded her arms around the young pilot.   
  
Rei closed her eyes. Never before had someone just come up and hugged her. She had seen others do it, and have it done to them. But for her, this was a new experience. And her body enjoyed it. She liked the feeling of protection… of safety.   
  
Of being loved. 'Is this a taste,' she wondered in her mind, 'A taste of what it is to be human? A simple touch, this warmth, this feeling…' Within the embrace she felt that there was time for everything. 'If this is what it means to be human, then that is what I wish to be.'   
  
"Oh, poor child." Yui whispered, as she hugged Rei. "All my poor children…" She said, glancing at Asuka, who was attempting to find points of interest that didn't involve the direct viewing of the emotional scene before her. Yui suppressed a chuckle after looking at Asuka. 'You have much to learn, little one. Maybe we can bring you back to where you're supposed to be.' She thought then looked down at Rei, who had finally returned the embrace. 'Still though, one project at a time…'   
  
Shinji moved closer, as did the Fifteenth Rei. Soon they both were encompassed in the embrace. Misato moved away, as did Asuka, and decided to simply watch the scene of the three children and one adult hugging. A tear formed in Misato's eye. "Damn…" she whispered.   
  
"Major…" Kozo said. "They're still you're responsibility. Just because Shinji has his mother back doesn't mean that he needs you any less…"   
  
"But she's his mother… and I'm just…"   
  
Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki smiled sadly, "You're his commanding officer. And at the end of the day, there are still Angels out there. The battle won't stop for something as insignificant as a child's happiness. No matter how much Yui and I might wish it so…"  
  
Shinji broke away from the group hug, and walked up to Misato. Misato blushed as the young boy's arms enfolded around her waist… "Shinji?" She asked.   
  
"Misato-san… we're going to have dinner…" Shinji smiled. "I'd like you there. You're my family too."   
  
Misato's mouth opened and closed several times, but no words could come out. Shinji smiled and released her. "You're welcome…" He said, answering her unstated gratitude.   
  
Then Shinji walked over to Asuka, who was now staring at a picture on a wall. "Ms. Sohryu?"   
  
She didn't acknowledge his presence.   
  
'Fortune is like a woman…' Shinji thought, looking at the perplexing second child. 'She favors the bold…' The words were from an old show he had seen once or twice when he was younger. His mother's presence, however, gave Shinji the kind of confidence that he had always lacked… or at least that he felt that he lacked. He looked back at his mother, who was now hugging the two Reis, then looked back at Asuka. A small smile worked its way onto his face. 'And what if you fall? At least you can say you tried.' So, throwing all caution to the wind, and remembering that supposedly Asuka was as much a part of his 'family' as Misato and Rei, decided to test the 'fortune' theory. Without warning, Shinji hugged Asuka.  
  
Shinji felt her stiffen under his embrace. Then he whispered into her ear, "Fuyutsuki-sensei told me that you were there for me… with me… and that we were a family before…" He stared into her eyes, after he lifted his head away from her shoulder. Her scowl was fearsome, but her eyes were begging… "Ms. Sohryu, will you come home with us? I'd like the most beautiful girl I've ever met to have dinner with me tonight."   
  
"I… Is this some form of pity, Third Child?" She asked. Shinji looked shocked, and then shook his head in the negative.   
  
"No… I just want to get to know you a bit… you know… because I can't remember…" Shinji started to pull away, and began to mutter, "I'm sor…"   
  
Asuka pulled him back and kissed him suddenly on the lips, silencing the apology before it could be spoken. As she felt him go silent, she smiled internally. As she pulled back, she felt a blush reach her cheeks. "Don't apologize." She said, holding him a bit tighter against her yet again. "I accept… but if you ever grab me again like this without my permission, Third Child, you'll regret it."   
  
Shinji nodded his understanding and smiled a little. "Yes Ma'am."   
  
'That's worth every bit of it.' Asuka thought, and sheepishly returned the smile. 'If he doesn't remember, that means it's a clean slate. I get to start… from scratch.' She watched him for a few minutes, and then spoke. "Shinji…"   
  
"Yes, Ms. Sohryu?" He said, looking into her eyes.   
  
"Call me Asuka."   
  
"A…Asuka." Shinji said, testing the word on his lips and allowing a small smile. "Asuka."   
  
"And don't you forget it." She said, smiling at him and poking her finger into his chest with each word.   
  
Of course, all the room had been privy to the exchange. Even Yui had noticed her son's sudden inspiration… Even the Reis had watched the exchange with interest. The Fifteenth Rei looked at the Second. "Why did she kiss him?"   
  
Rei looked back at the two, then responded, "To keep him from apologizing."   
  
The fifteenth's head tilted slightly and a quizzical expression befell her face, "Is it common to use a kiss to silence someone?"   
  
Rei thought about it for a moment. "I believe it's an unintentional aftereffect. Although Pilot Sohryu's reason was probably to achieve that effect…"   
  
The Fifteenth frowned for a moment, and then nodded. "I see."   
  
Yui watched those gathered in the room, and realized one had been left out. "Sensei?" She called.   
  
Kozo looked up from his shadowy corner of the room.   
  
Yui smiled softly, "You're coming to dinner too, right?"   
  
Kozo didn't move much, but his eyes turned down in thought, before rising again, "I wouldn't miss it for the world…"   
  
At that moment, the door opened up revealing Doctor Akagi. Ritsuko took one glance around the room, looked at her clipboard, and took yet another glance around the room. Her eyes focused on Yui for a moment, then on Shinji, then back on Yui. "Um… who are you?"   
  
"Yui Ikari," Yui said meekly, "Ritsuko, isn't it? I used to know your mother." Yui noted the 'deer caught in the headlights' look on the woman's face.   
  
The woman nodded numbly, "That's what I thought…" Then she looked down at her clipboard, marked off a box… and looked back up for one last survey of the room.  
  
Then she fainted.  
  
The Sub-Commander was the first to comment, "Perhaps she was the wisest of all of us… I wish that I would have done that once, long ago..."  
  
In Tokyo 3, the sound of laughter was a rare thing. Even rarer was when it was associated with the Children of NERV. But on this day, the sound of laughter could be heard flowing from the emergency ward room of Shinji Ikari…  
  
--  
Author's Notes:   
  
I hope that this chapter meets with approval, and that I have done a good job of writing it. I had wanted to bring Yui back in this chapter, and start Rei on the road of becoming human. Of course, the first part is a forward flash showing the destination, and the rest of the story lays the groundwork.   
  
As for the S/A implication… well they're married in the future. But remember – this is a story of Rei becoming a human being. We know the source and the destination now, but I have not yet revealed the path to get there. Besides, there's just as much story left to be told in 2030 as there is in 2014. Be prepared for surprises. Just a word of warning: I like rollercoasters. :D   
  
As usual, any comments are accepted warmly. Feel free to leave them or send them to my email. :D   
  
Edit 4/8/2003 - Modified a couple misspellings and odd word placements. Should be better now.  
  
Later,   
PitViper


	7. Chapter Six: Mirrors Often Shatter

How to Make a Human Being – Chapter 6

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Author's Notes:

Sorry about the time between chapters. I'm really trying, honest :D I'm going with minimal notes, so as not to overload the reader.

So enjoy chapter Six… Please :D

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Title: How to Make a Human Being  
Genre: Short Story  
Author: PitViper 08/09/02  
Chapter2: 08/13/02  
Chapter3: 08/18/02 modified v2 - 08/19/02  
Chapter4: 09/22/02 continued – 12/03/02  
Chapter5: 12/28/02  
Chapter6: 06/05/05 – continued 7/12/05

Synopsis: Many believe that the character of Rei Ayanami is bound in steel to her duty – She accepts nothing into her life that is not related to Eva or Angels. This is the story of how a few small changes can make a big difference.

--

**How to Make a Human Being: Chapter 6: Mirrors Often Shatter**

_August 24th 2030 – 7:15am._

It is said that there are certain points during the day and the evening that a person drops their guard – allows their true-selves to be seen. For some this is while they are asleep. For others – this is while they are eating; and for others still – it is while they are too indulged in _other_ things to care about what they show to the world.

"_The world often puts obstacles in our paths…"_ Rei remembered as she set the table before her. _"How we deal with those obstacles determines who we are, and who we will become. When you look in the mirror, you see the reflection of yourself – it's hard to lie to yourself when you are doing this. It requires some doing – to be able to look in a mirror and be happy with what you see. Many people simply cannot do this thing because self-honesty is a very rare commodity indeed. If all humans were capable of looking into a mirror at their true-selves, perhaps the world would not be so harsh a place to exist in." _

As Rei continued to arrange the place-settings, she heard Asuka come down the stairs. _"You will be able to see those who cannot face themselves in the mirror. It's not just your gift for being who and what you are – it's the mere fact that people always give hints as to what lies beneath the surface of their flesh." _Yui's voice echoed gently in Rei's mind as she watched the Second Child's weary steps. _"You can see it, plain as day – their ghosts will haunt them during their sleep, or while they are eating, or most especially while they are drunk." _

Rei watched as Asuka poured herself a glass of orange juice. There were dark circles under her eyes, and it did not appear that the Second Child had a very comfortable sleep. As Shinji entered the room and noticed Asuka, the hair on Rei's neck began to stand up. She could almost feel the change in him. 'He had told me he loved her…' Rei thought in confusion. So why now did she notice fear in his form?

Ayanami often noticed that the second child and Misato Katsuragi shared the same vice – a tendency to overindulge in alcoholic beverages. While this was commonplace for the often-inebriated Commander of NERV - it was becoming more and more an issue with the highly unstable Second Child. As she noticed the sliver flask that had been a gift from Misato to Asuka – she frowned. Asuka was adding what was undoubtedly alcohol to her morning Orange Juice. 'Perhaps the answer points to itself…' Rei thought.

Noticing Rei's glare, the Second Child became very haughty. 'How dare she look at me like that!' Her eyes challenged Rei's and (if such a thing were possible) her nose turned up in a snooty 'I'm holier than thou' expression of superiority. "It's a traditional Japanese breakfast." She stated firmly, no longer attempting to hide the fact that she was adding alcohol to her drink. She proceeded to pour even more of the flask's contents into the orange juice.

Rei quickly glanced to Shinji, whose eyes nearly instantaneously turned to the table in contemplation of the wood grain. Her eyes turned back to her guest, gathering as much disapproval as possible, "Misato-san's tradition, perhaps. But…" 'How could I not have noticed before?' She thought to herself.

"Look Rei, I have it under control. I can stop when I want to." Asuka said, her lip twitching slightly.

Rei picked up the slight eccentricity. 'More and more this happens. Was it just last week that Shinji was taken to the hospital with a broken nose? And two months prior that he _tripped and fell_ down the stairs breaking his arm in three places?' Rei looked at Shinji, looking for more signs of abuse or injury. She saw nothing, but that didn't mean that the wounds were not there. 'If it were not for NERV's excellent medical technology, the Third Child would have been a morass of injuries and contusions.' Rei thought darkly about these things as she noticed that Asuka had emptied her glass of modified orange juice.

"Maybe I should wake up the children…" Shinji offered rather meekly. He could feel the confrontation building; and thought that if the children were awake, they could mitigate matters. After all, part of the reason he had brought Asuka and the children here was so that someone else could see the trouble that was brewing. However, he could feel the hostility brewing between Rei and Asuka… but for the life of him he could not understand why.

Rei studied Shinji again suddenly, 'He has not acted like this since… since the Angel wars.' Still, "No, Shinji… let them sleep. They are tired… and they are children. In this house they will always be allowed to be what we were not allowed to be."

Shinji smiled slightly at this. "Of course," he said, knowing that this would trigger a rant from Asuka.

"Eh, Baka! Why should they have it easy? After all, we're the ones grinding ourselves to the bone day in and day out." Asuka said, finally giving up pretext and drinking directly from her flask. "And your lazy ass… I don't know why Wondergirl here doesn't kick it like I do!"

Rei became irritated, "Sohryu… Perhaps you should cease your consumption of alcohol? It is making you say and do things…"

"You're not about to tell me what to do Wondergirl." Asuka sneered. "So why don't you just shove it up where the sun don't shine!"

Rei visibly winced at the tone in the German's voice. "Enough…" She whispered then she left the room. Rei couldn't help but notice the satisfied smirk on the Second Children's face as she did so. She walked through the kitchen door and let it shut behind her. She sighed for a moment, resting against the door frame.

After a few breaths, Ayanami picked up the kitchen phone and called NERV, placing a call directly to the Commander's line. After a few seconds, an exhausted voice answered, "Misato speaking…"

Rei smiled slightly, "Good morning Commander Katsuragi…" She could almost hear the cringe on the other end of the line.

"Rei… how many times do I have to tell you…" Misato's voice trailed off.

A slight giggle left Rei's lips, and Misato knew that Rei had done it intentionally.

"That's not fair. Especially at this time of the morning…" Misato lectured, "So what's up?"

"Well, Misato-san, it's… the Second." Rei said hesitantly.

"You haven't called Asuka 'the second' in years…" Misato wondered aloud.

"And she hasn't called me Wondergirl in the same amount of time," Rei clarified, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice. "But this morning… she did."

Misato's voice was worried, "But why would she…"

Rei interrupted her, "A morning ritual… much like your own."

Misato's voice became harsh, "She's been drinking… again."

"She's already consumed several… drinks," Rei informed her solemnly. "I am also noticing that Shinji isn't acting normally…"

"Look Rei, don't go reading too much into this…"

Rei could almost hear the pleading tone in her voice. 'She knows…' she thought to herself. Rei's eyes narrowed, "She needs help."

"Please just forget about this. I told Shinji it was a bad idea to come and see you." Misato paused for a few moments before attempting to reassure Rei, "Shinji will help her." Misato stated softly.

'There is something very wrong here…' Rei thought as she considered the possibilities. Rei's voice became tinged with anger, "How? By being her punching bag?"

"But…"

"And when she turns on her children?" Rei interrupted the Major's thoughts.

"I…" The Commander was interrupted again.

"How many broken bones does NERV have to reknit in order for the truth to be realized?"

Misato sighed, "Why couldn't she have just been a functional, happy drunk?"

"Like you?" Rei challenged.

"That's not fair." Misato muttered.

Rei sighed, "Life rarely is. She needs help, Misato-san."

"We… I can't." Misato admitted sadly. Then her voice became stern, "I'm ordering you not to interfere."

Rei blinked, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me Rei. You're not to interfere with Asuka's interactions with Shinji. Am I clear?"

"I don't believe…" Rei started, and then she was cut off by the Commander.

"You don't understand. There are… things you don't know: Things that you cannot interfere with." Misato let out a sigh, "I know you want to help him Rei. I know… but you can't. _Nobody_ can."

"Will you at least tell me why?" Rei asked at a whisper.

Misato became stern again, "No. You don't have the clearance to know."

'Clearance… Orders…' Rei thought about these things while Misato issued more orders.

"I didn't want to have to do this Rei… but it seems I have no choice." Misato paused for a moment, then continued – "You are to cease all contact with Shinji and Asuka and their children effective immediately." Misato practically growled out.

"No…" Rei whispered again.

"I'm sorry. It's out of my hands. If you refuse to comply, I'll have you incarcerated until you decide to obey."

"I…. I'll… I'll comply." Rei forced out. "Ma'am." For the second time in her life, she lied to a superior officer… and to her friend.

Misato sighed in relief. "I'm sorry… I have my orders too."

"Yes Commander." Rei said emotionlessly, as she hung up the phone – Misato still calling her name as the handset clicked on the holder.

'I cannot allow this… I cannot let this continue… Shinji… I love him. I cannot stand by and watch as he is hurt…' These thoughts continued as she walked over to the cupboards. She poured some tea she had made earlier into two cups, knowing that Asuka would be nursing her own drinks.

Just then, the door to the kitchen opened, admitting Shinji. "Rei… what's wrong?"

"Nothing…" Rei said quietly. Focusing on preparing the tea. Then she shook her head, she couldn't lie to him: "Everything…" She turned around to face Shinji.

"Rei…" Shinji started, but she stared into his eyes and cut him off.

"I need to know what is happening with you." She asked him, her red eyes glistening with tears.

Shinji sighed. "You mean with Asuka and me." It was a statement of fact. "Over the last year or so, she's been different. Very, very different. She drinks, all the time. The children are starting to become afraid of her. You've seen… seen how she was this morning. Yesterday was a good day. This morning wasn't even that bad. But on the worst days…"

"On the worst days she hurts you." Rei finished for him. "You should know, Shinji… Misato just _ordered _me to cease all contact with you."

His eyes widened. "What?" He asked with a whisper.

"She said I was not to interfere with you and Asuka. And I, evidently, don't have the _clearance _to be told why…"

Shinji stared at her, "But…" He started, but was interrupted by a commotion.

The kitchen door burst open, and unleashed an irate Asuka Langley Sohryu upon the kitchen's occupants. "Idiot. We're leaving _now_!"

Shinji's eyes became even wider as he noticed the furious look on Asuka's face. "But…"

Asuka walked over and slapped him, "Remember your place, Stooge! Now go get the kids!"

In another time or place, Shinji Ikari might have had the strength to resist that order. But time had not been kind to him, and he reverted to more placating ways. Shinji nodded and left the room, glancing back at Rei sadly. As soon as he cleared the door, Rei turned her attention to Asuka. All she saw was a fist heading towards her face.

Even with her finely tuned reflexes and unnatural agility, she was unable to avoid the blow. The haymaker put her on the floor of the kitchen, a bruise forming on the side of her face.

"Serves you right." She spat, rubbing her fist, "What did you think? That Misato wouldn't tell me you called her to rat me out behind my back? You're an idiot, Just like Shinji. And to think I was actually looking forward to visiting you!" Asuka spat as she spoke, saliva scattering in the air.

"You're sick." Rei said, "You need help."

"Bah! What do you know? Not much, that's for sure. Maybe you should have tried to maintain a higher profile at NERV. Lousy, good for nothing…. You've just been here, mooching off all us hard working people. This house, the things you have in it. You don't deserve any of it!" She took out her flask, "You don't have to deal with the crap I do!" She took a swig of whatever was in it, "Don't have to face what I have to face."

Part of Rei's mind screamed out in protest. "Do you believe you are the only one to carry pain?" Her stare impaled Asuka, forcing her to step back a bit. "Do you believe you _know _pain?"

"What, you do?" Asuka asked with a sharp, disbelieving laugh.

"I do." Rei confirmed. "And so does Shinji. Our pain… our burdens… you will _never _understand them."

"Luckily for me…" Asuka said, "I don't have to." She pulled out a nine millimeter pistol. "See this, First? It's a Glock. Nine Millimeter with hollow point rounds. If I pull this trigger, then your burden and my irritation disappear."

Rei's eyes narrowed as anger began to fill her. "You _dare _to point a weapon at me?" She didn't know if Asuka knew what she was capable of, but the mere fact that the weapon was directed at her… 'We are friends.' She reminded herself.

Asuka smirked, "You know you're not 'replaceable' any more. So are you still not afraid of death, First?"

"There are things worse than death." Rei warned, and then thought to herself: 'And I am one of those things.'

Asuka pointed the gun away and let out a grim chuckle, "I guess threatening you is pointless. But listen to me carefully, First. Come near Shinji, My children, or me ever again, and I will blow your brains out."

"The Asuka I know would never say or do these things." Rei told her. 'Something has happened… she's… insane.'

Asuka shrugged, "She died a while ago. She didn't know who and what you_ really_ were. I do, First." She went to the kitchen's outside door and opened the locks. "I didn't want to believe it; but, you're really just a man-stealing bitch!"

Rei's eyes widened in shock at the accusation just as the back door opened admitting several Section Two agents. They came in immediately and pointed their weapons at Rei.

Asuka took her time in holstering her weapon. "Just remember First. You are quickly becoming _persona non gratis._ Try not to screw up again, otherwise these gentlemen will teach you a lesson."

Asuka turned quickly and walked out the door to the kitchen, slamming it closed behind her.

One of the Section Two agents stepped forward and spoke: "Ms. Ayanami. As of this morning you are to cease all contact with the Ikari's. Your phone will be tapped and you will be kept under twenty-four hour surveillance. Any deviation or disregard of these orders – whether accidental or intentional – will result in your immediate incarceration or termination. Is this understood?"

Rei's eyes narrowed on the short but muscular agent who was speaking. He took a step back. "I heard you clearly, Agent Tanaka."

The man swallowed as Rei's eyes went through each of the other men in the room. Still he was not completely done regurgitating the Commander's orders, "In addition, your pilot status is being revoked effective immediately." After a few seconds he added, "I'm sorry."

"Are you finished?" She asked. The agent nodded in the affirmative. "Now leave my domicile." She instructed, her gaze falling back on agent Tanaka.

The man gulped again, "Ma'am… we can't leave until we're sure that the Second and Third Children, and their offspring have been cleared from the building."

"I am not even allowed to say goodbye?" Rei asked, already knowing the answer.

"My orders are to subdue you should you try to interfere with their departure or communicate with them before they leave. My orders include permission for StK; Per Commander Katsuragi."

"She ordered you to shoot to kill?"

"Affirmative." Tanaka replied in an emotionless monotone.

Rei's eyes went to the door, then back to the men. "You are aware, Agent Tanaka, that I can kill your entire squad before your heart completes its next beat?" Rei watched as the men gripped their weapons tightly, "And I'm sure that Commander Ikari informed you when you were first assigned to my guard that your weapons would have no effect on me?" One of the agents gasped when he heard this. Tanaka simply bowed his head.

"Ma'am… I've spent the last seventeen years protecting you. I know what I'm up against. But you do know I would have to try."

"Commander Ikari always chose loyal officers to protect his most guarded secrets." Rei said, looking at him with a kinder face, "You know I would not wish to cause you harm."

"The feeling is mutual, Ma'am." Tanaka said.

Just then, another Section Two agent entered the room from the kitchen. He wore a slightly graying goatee and his hair was longish, tied back into a ponytail. His sharp eyes scanned the rest of the room and fell on the man in charge of Rei's Section Two contingent. "We're clear." He stated, his voice carrying an unusual edge.

Tanaka looked at the agent strangely, "I don't think we've met…"

The man smiled, "Smith. Agent Smith."

Tanaka chuckled, looking the obviously Japanese man over: "You certainly don't look like a 'Smith'."

Agent Smith laughed slightly, "Whatever." He looked around the room then confronted Tanaka again, "I got my mother's looks and my stepfather's name. Sue me." Agent Smith shrugged helplessly.

Tanaka nodded, "I need to see your ID…"

Agent Smith tossed Tanaka his card, already having it in hand. "I was just hired about three weeks ago. I was assigned to training, and yesterday I got added to Asuka's detail."

Tanaka scrutinized the card, and looked at the man before him several times before tossing it back. "A little old to be just starting in this business…"

Smith laughed, analyzing the caught card himself. "Well, it's not my first gig… but I couldn't exactly put down most of my references."

"You have that air around you…" Tanaka noted, and then turned to Ayanami… "We'll be on our way."

Rei nodded and watched as the men filed out of the room. Agent Smith lagged behind. Rei turned her attention to him once the door was shut. Inwardly she smiled as she recognized the man posing as a newly hired Section Two agent. "So Agent Kaji, it would appear that you are 'back in town.'"

Kaji froze, his eyes locked on Rei. "How?" Evidently he thought his disguise was very good – his facial features had been significantly altered. Asuka hadn't even given him a second glance when he spoke with her in the dining area. 'Not that she would have recognized me anyways… I could smell the alcohol on her breath.'

"My nature allows me to see many things, Agent Kaji. Hiding your true self from me is next to impossible." Rei got up off the floor. "So have you contacted Misato yet?"

Kaji blinked, and then smiled, "It seems that the years have taught you to loosen up a bit…" He noticed her eyes narrowing on him, and then chuckled nervously, "I mean, at least a little bit."

"Your charms will not work on me." Rei stated bluntly. "I'll assume that you have not contacted Commander Katsuragi." She got up off the floor. The bruise on her face was already healing. In a few minutes there would be no trace of it at all. She sighed and went to the two cups of tea. "Why are you here?"

"SEELE is at it again. I was tracking the last one: Kihl. He's nearly impossible to corner and, it would appear, explosion proof." Kaji said, leaning against a counter and breathing deeply in frustration. "I thought I got him, but after about three months, I saw signs that he was rebuilding his networks again."

"You would have been the cause then of the large explosion in Rome? That one that the church claims destroyed several sacred artifacts…" Rei mused.

Ryoji Kaji blinked at that, "The church was keeping that quiet… how did you know?"

Rei finished preparing the two cups of tea, and offered one to Kaji. "My apologies, the tea is no longer warm." She went to the kitchen chair and sat, "And I know because I have access to classified files in NERV."

"How… you didn't choose to accept a command level…" Kaji's eyes widened, "You're using Gendo's codes."

"Very perceptive," Rei acknowledged. "For the past several months my access to NERV has become more and more restricted. The last time I inquired about the location of Yui Ikari… I was told that they didn't have her current location." Rei took a sip of her tea. "NERV _never _loses anyone, especially not the creator of the Evangelion."

"And, that set you off on your own quest to find the truth." The former spy looked around, "Aren't you worried…" He glanced at the smoke alarm on the far wall.

Rei's eyebrow rose slightly, "I do not have a direct monitor order. My domicile is free of audio and visual surveillance. Not even Commander Katsuragi would be foolish enough to implement something like that. The nightmares alone that I have could contain enough information to damn everyone in NERV a thousand times over."

Kaji took a gulp of his luke-warm tea, finding it surprisingly good. "I see. So, while they will watch you and track you outside your home until you're a hundred and eight, there are no listening devices here."

Rei inclined her head slightly.

"I think Kihl has his tendrils back into NERV." Kaji blurted out. He needed a partner in crime, and so far Rei was the only person he'd met that had the ability to get him information – Even if that ability was being progressively stripped away from the young girl.

"He has always been influencing NERV. He seeks an escape from the punishment he must endure." Rei informed him. After all, few people knew the nature of the curse that Kihl's soul was forced to suffer.

"What punishment is that?" Kaji asked, wondering what could possibly threaten the most powerful man in the world.

Rei stared at her cup for a few moments. After all, revelation was something to be taken carefully and slowly. She decided on the direct approach, since a long and boring preamble would not suit the former Spy's patience. "He cannot die," Rei stated softly, sipping from her now cold tea.

Kaji stared at her for a few moments, and then set the cup of tea down. "I think I need a drink…" He muttered to himself as he realized that Rei was speaking the truth.

--  
Author's Notes:

I hope you enjoyed the latest entry to this story. I know most everyone has believed that I've given up. I assure you I haven't. It's just that life is a very difficult thing to live when you have so much going on at once. I'm glad I was able to find some precious time to update this and I hope it fits with the previous chapters well... Its a big surprise, but I did say that there was as much of the story to tell in 2030 as there was in 2015. I hope this is bringing up the intrigue a bit and is pleasant to read. As always comments and criticisms are warmly invited. (gets out his asbestos pajamas)

Later,  
PitViper (pvalpha (at) yahoo (dot) com)


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